I had every intention of putting a celebratory twist on my Ampuversary, but I was never able to fully embrace happy emotions. Instead I spent much of the morning struggling with feelings of grief, inadequacy and the frustration that I wasn't jovial. By lunchtime I had fully abandoned feigning the happy-go-lucky attitude and instead permitted myself to feel the emotions I was fighting against. I was sad. Of course, the fact that we had torrential downpours against dark skies all day certainly didn't help booster my mood.
My life is extremely full and happy,
yet yesterday I couldn't help but keep thinking about everything that I
lost ten years earlier. There was no way around it; I missed my leg!
After finally accepting my melancholy mood, I broke down crying several
times throughout the day. Robby, unaccustomed to seeing me break down,
took it upon himself to try to cheer me up. He brought me water,
cookies, Black Bear, a blanket and tried to play the guitar for me. It
was impossible not to crack a smile when he attempted the Cha-Cha Slide!
took me out for a nice dinner and when we returned, Robby helped me
harvest our first beans of the season. I started to cut some hydrangeas
to take in the house. Bad move. There was a yellow jacket nest nearby
and they attacked! Four bites on my ankle, three on my bum, and
four---well, let's just say I was seen screaming and removing my
underwear. Scott came running with my Epi-pen (which hurts to
administer by the way) and I spent the evening in the Emergency Room.
Yep, yesterday was not a good day.
want to thank everybody for the outpouring of support I received
yesterday. Personally, I'm glad that the milestone Ampuversary is behind
me. Although it was a difficult day, having such a wonderful support
base certainly made it easier.
Happy Fourth of July! Have fun and stay safe.