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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Convincing Myself

Not surprisingly, Timmy survived his first daycare experience completely unscathed. I, on the other hand, dropped him off and proceeded to cry as I drove to my meeting. My eyes were red and puffy when I arrived, and although I tried to pass it off as allergies, I'm fairly certain that nobody believed me. 

I felt silly having such a visceral reaction to leaving my little guy in the care of others. I have left Timmy with both my Mom and my neighbor, and each time he was happy and playful. It just feels different leaving him in another building, even though I completely trust the staff and consider them to be friends.

Despite my strong emotional reaction to leaving Timmy at the school, I am so happy that I have worked out a solution to our daycare dilemma. I never left Robby when he was young, but I have to remind myself that also I wasn't working. This is a different child, and we are at different stages in our lives. I adore being home with him, but there are times when I have to attend to some professional responsibilities. I think I sound as if I am trying to convince myself!

I don't really understand the guilt that I feel about daycare, but I do know that it is strong. Logically I know that allowing somebody else to watch him for a few hours a week, freeing me to work uninterrupted, is not evil. I wasn't a working Mom with Robby. With Timmy I am, and that is okay. It doesn't mean that I am less attentive or loving. I spend as much time with him as possible, and he is certainly not starving for love or affection. I am doing what is best for everybody in the family, and that includes my working. Again, I feel like I am trying to convince myself!

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