A few weeks ago I realized that my hair is beginning to fall out. Yesterday I realized that hairs are beginning to sprout, at an astonishing rate--but from the bottom of my chin. Let me assure you, sudden onset menopause is not for the faint of heart.
In addition to my confused hair follicles, I've discovered the unexpected and totally unwelcome hot flashes. I can be perfectly comfortable and suddenly everything changes. The tell-tale sign of my neck warming is the only warning I have before I am encompassed by an invisible heat wave. A few days ago I sought refuge from my self-contained heatwave by standing in front of the open freezer door. Since I knew that Robby was occupied watching Master Chef with Scott, I decided to expedite the cooling process by lifting my nightgown over my head.
Unfortunately, my cool down session happened to coincide with a commercial break in the television show the boys were watching. The freezer was running, drowning out the footsteps coming down the hallway towards the kitchen. Before I knew it, I saw Robby out of my peripheral vision. As soon as we made eye contact he turned 180 degrees and ran towards the bedroom.
In that moment, Robby became a modern (and slightly dysfunctional) embodiment of Paul Revere. Trotting down the hallway he called out "Dad, whatever you do, don't go into the kitchen. Dad, did you hear me? I wouldn't go into the kitchen if I were you. Mom has her boobs in the freezer."
Being only 8, Robby failed to anticipate that his warning of "boobs in the freezer" becomes an invitation to inquiry when heard by an adult. Scott met Robby's stride as he took off towards the kitchen, hoping to catch a glimpse after hearing the warning. In the meantime Robby kept shrieking his warning to stay clear of the kitchen. I think I may have traumatized him while providing Scott with the fodder for jokes for the foreseeable future.