Yesterday was incredibly hectic and busy which made me appreciate how far I've come in my recovery. I was wearing my leg all day and, although it was sore by the time I took it off before climbing into bed, I feel victorious. Much of the day I was wearing Timmy in the baby carrier, adding to both the fatigue I experienced at the end of the day as well as the sense of satisfaction I felt.
Despite being tired, last night after dinner Robby and I did something that we haven't done together in months. We made
These were not chocolate chip cookies without a purpose. We were baking them for our local firehouse. When Robby was born I struggled to find a way to explain 9/11 to him in terms where he understood the importance yet would not be scared. I decided that the best way to honor the past was to create a tradition of thanking the first responders in our community. Every year we bake cookies and deliver them on the morning of September 11. The firefighters have come to expect our delivery!
Our tradition has grown and has been adopted by friends and classmates. After a brief and age appropriate history lesson, Robby's class made a poster to accompany the cookies. I'm sure that it will bring a smile to many faces!
I hate September 11, with all of the news retrospectives and documentaries. I understand the importance of remembering, but it seems like the horror is being crammed down my throat by the networks. I will never forget the fear, terror and grief that I felt on that morning. I want Robby and Timmy to understand the significance without feeling the sense of uncontrolled terror. I hope that they never experience those emotions and memories first hand!
Today I won't be watching any television. I don't need to see constant replays of the planes flying into the buildings, nor do I need to hear the frantic 911 calls to remember what happened. I am far more comfortable honoring the date in my own way, by doing something positive.