Today is my Ampuversary. It has now been twelve years since that emotionally ridden day when I drove to Baltimore to begin a new life. The terror and uncertainty I felt on that morning were overwhelmingly strong and I can still feel those emotions today as I reflect.
I remember staring at my foot as Scott drove, trying to soak in every last moment of it still being attached to my body. It was broken and deformed, but it was still mine. After 5 years of pain and surgery, I was ready to rid myself of the disability of my injured biological foot. Although I knew that it was the most logical decision, I was petrified of life as an amputee.
I remember being wheeled back on the gurney into the operating room. I remember the last time I wiggled my mangled toes and rotated my swollen ankle. I remember the pain when I woke up in the recovery room as I cried out for my Mom. Twelve years have passed, yet my memories remain vivid. I doubt that I will ever forget the sights, sounds, smells, emotions and pain that surrounded that day.
This morning I am not waking up mourning what was removed. Instead I am celebrating the beginning of my new life. As I watch Timmy happily rolling on the floor this morning I am reminded that if I hadn't made the decision to amputate twelve years ago, I would not be a Mom. I am no longer in pain, and I walk and move without thinking.
If you ask me, my left foot and ankle were small sacrifices for the pain-free, active and wonderful life I am living today. Today is definitely worthy of celebration. Happy Ampuversary to me!
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