Yesterday I had the opportunity to achieve a lifelong goal while knocking something else off of my Bucket List. I am delighted to announce that I am officially the "Pancake Eating Champion" of my local IHOP restaurant. Not only did I earn bragging rights, but I won free IHOP for a year.
I have always wanted to enter an eating contest. While I've toyed with the idea in the past, I never found a contest that fit my pallet and skill set. When I received an email advertising the pancake eating competition, I immediately knew that I found the ideal challenge. I love pancakes, and the prize of free food for a year was highly motivating. I hoped that the combination of both greed and gluttony would propel me to a championship finish.
I prepped for the competition by following due diligence throughout the day. I took Timmy to SkyZone in the morning to work up an appetite and limited my lunch to a small cup of soup. By the time dinner rolled around, I changed into my battle gear (my maternity underpants and an A-Line dress) as I prepared to take my rightful place in the archives of non-sanctioned competitive eating.
The first ten pancakes were fairly easy to consume. I paced myself and limited my water intake so that no unnecessary volume was taken in my stomach. By the fifth short stack, the number of competitors began to dwindle. Before I knew it, it was just me against a lanky teenage boy. I could tell that he was beginning to hit the carbohydrate wall, so I decided to step up my game by introducing the smack talk.
Acting cool and collected, I began to hum and make jokes with the waiter. I shot selfies while eating the pancakes, trying to appear as if I wasn't sweating and getting ready to vomit. I lined up the syrup flavors while vowing to eat a stack with each one. Finally, my competition tapped out.
I consumed 16.5 pancakes in 45 minutes. After shaking the managers hand and posing for photos, I left the restaurant proud of my accomplishment. Secure in my coronation as Pancake Champion, I regret to admit that I didn't make it home before experiencing the dreaded "reversal of fortune." At that point it didn't matter if I vomited, because I had already received my prize of pancakes for a year. Unfortunately, I doubt I'll ever want to eat those little round devils again.