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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Bomb in Aisle 5

YouTube is an odd internet phenomena that seemingly appeals to all ages.  I access the site to stream episodes of Zack and Quack for Timmy when we are waiting somewhere and I need him to both behave and to remain quiet.  I have come to rely upon the videos to tackle simple to moderate home repair tasks.  Robby finds hours of entertainment streaming game tutorials and other nonsensical content. 

One of the strangest series of videos that have struck my little Koopa's fancy feature MREs. MREs are military prepared meals which are vacuum packed and ready to consume in the battlefield.  Each meal bag contains an odd combination of entree, breads, snacks and other assorted necessities. Over the weekend Robby became fascinated with MREs and was ecstatic when his Nana told him that they could be purchased locally. 

On Saturday we packed up and headed to the military surplus store.  Walking into the establishment, it felt like we were transported into a camouflaged version of Oz. Robby immediately began to browse through the cluttered and disheveled aisles. In a quest for the coveted MREs, I followed him while Scott worked on wrangling Timmy.   

Timmy was surprisingly well behaved, content to stroll without touching or throwing anything. I think that he was happy to be part of the excitement with his brother. Both boys were demonstrating commendable behavior, something which rarely occurs simultaneously.

Just as Robby located the MREs Scott ushered me to the back of the store. I could tell by the look on his face that something was amiss. I turned the corner and saw Timmy standing  among the military flack jackets without pants and without his diaper. I was mortified when I saw that in the middle of the aisle was a homemade grenade (poop) that Timmy decided to plant on the store floor. 

I'm not sure why Timmy decided to strip down and poop on the floor. According to Scott's frantic account, it happened quickly while he was looking for a jacket in Robby's size. Regardless of why or how, we were forced to act quickly in order to minimize Timmy's treasonous act against the military surplus store. 

We used the diaper to scoop up the bomb. Thankfully we were able to remove all evidence of his atrocity. Scott carried our naked bummed, and by now extremely unhappy and vocal little boy out of the store. Robby and I quickly picked two MREs, paid and left the store.  Timmy was placed on restrictive leave for his misconduct, although I don't think it made much of an impression.  So much for both boys behaving simultaneously.

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