As a Mom I am constantly second guessing myself. I try to appear confident in front of my kids mainly because they feed off of insecurities. If Robby senses that I am hedging on a decision, he will do his best to nudge me in the direction of his choice. If I stand firm, even if inside I am teetering, he tends to accept his fate with more grace.
I've discovered that the majority of parents suffer from
the same insecurities. We worry about whether or not our decisions,
actions and choices will help or hinder our kids. Since deep down we are
all uncertain to some degree; there is no need to judge each other.
the weekend I had a classic "mommy shaming" encounter. I posted a photo
of Timmy raiding the candy bowl. I know I'm biased, but his mischievous
smile was particularly adorable and I thought that my friends and
family on social media would enjoy seeing him. Within minutes of
posting, the mommy shamer struck opting to ignore my son in the photo
and instead commenting on the baby bottle in the background.
not to engage the judgemental comment because I knew that it would only
lead to hurt feelings and damaged relationships. Although I didn't
respond, my family quickly came to my defense by calling out the mommy
shamer. The thread exploded, and I ended up deleting the photo. Quickly
after deleting my photo I read a post from the shamer, publicly blasting
my parenting. Her thread quickly gained momentum and I was
flabbergasted as strangers jumped aboard the shaming train. I was
referred to as a "lazy breeder," and a "downright incompetent parent."
All of these vile accusations were thrown simply because of a bottle in
the background of a photo.
The blasting of me was hurtful, but
when I read my Hamlet being ridiculed as a "grunter," I almost imploded.
Judging my parenting is discouraging and disappointing; passing that
judgement onto my toddler is utterly repugnant and unacceptable.
don't understand the mommy shamers of the world. Being a parent is hard
under the best circumstances. Dealing with opinionated shamers only
throws more obstacles in our path. I don't agree with all of the
decisions I see my friends making for their families, but I respect
their choices for their families. I would never feel obliged to
interject my personal opinions into their lives, and I certainly don't
judge people for how they are raising their children. I wish others
would offer the same courtesy. A little more support and a lot less
shame would benefit everybody.