Time

Yesterday was not my best day as a virtual school Mom. Already feeling stressed and on edge, I recognized myself unraveling as the day continued. I am hoping for a better day today because, in all honesty, yesterday I failed.

Unfortunately my schedule is busy again today. Between work, Circle Time and chauffeuring to and from guitar lessons, I won't have a true break until I go to bed. As I am running myself ragged trying to keep on top of two students, my own work and the household, I find myself feeling increasingly resentful towards Scott's nightly bike ride. 

 Logically, I know that he is simply trying to become healthy and I have been supporting him on this venture. We (I) have completely changed our diet to avoid salt and to increase potassium. Our snacks have changed, and I am cooking more from scratch to avoid the salt traps of take-out. But when I see him hop onto his bike and take off up the driveway while I'm still at the table working or in the kitchen cooking or cleaning, I become jealous and resentful. What I would give for the luxury of just a few minutes by myself to ride around the neighborhood!

I continue to hope that, as the school year progresses, we will find our groove and more time will open up. I know I need to take better care of myself. Unfortunately, right now self-care has become a luxury that is out of reach because of time.