Photo Proof

When I was pregnant with Robby I remember losing sleep worrying about how my child would feel about his disabled mother. My main concern was my amputation causing embarrassing for him as he grew up. Although he wasn't even yet born, I was already anxious and fretting about his teen years. Would he want me to hide my disability? I remember feeling so overwhelmed because I couldn't predict the future.

17 years have flown by since those sleepless pregnant nights. If I could go back in time, I would pat myself on the head and tell worried me to go back to sleep because everything will be okay. Typical to my fashion, I worried more than necessary. For both of my boys, my 'disability' has become a part of the fabric of our family which requires no excuses or explanations. 

Robby has been taking a photo manipulation course in school this semester. As a project he was tasked with taking a photo of an individual and manipulating it with words that he associates with that individual. I had no idea what he was doing when he asked me to pose for a photo, but I obliged because he asked. I was overwhelmed and brought to tears when he showed me his completed project.

I know that this blog has established a reach beyond a single days post. If you are reading this and you are currently, or are considering becoming a parent, know that what I feared my kids would view as weakness they actually see as strength. How do I know?  Because I now have the photographic evidence.

2022- A Year of Change and Adventure

Slowly but surely, my home is being transitioned from a winter wonderland back to our norm. Decorations are being boxed and stacked to be stowed over the weekend. The tree will be packed up over New Year, and then we will be ready to tackle 2023. Well, I'm not sure we will be ready for the New Year, but at least the house will be uncluttered and clean for the fresh start.

2022 was a year full of change and adventures. 

Timmy started a new school which required adjustments from everybody in the family, especially him. It was hard but I am proud of us for sticking with it. I now have a little kiddo who is eager to return to the classroom. Change was hard but, especially in this situation, it was definitely worth it.

In June I dropped Robby and Scott off at the airport as they embarked on their European adventure. When I picked them up nearly 2 weeks later, they were both transformed. Experiencing other cultures, immersing themselves in history and sharing so many inside memories and jokes strengthened their bond and changed the tone of their relationship. 

I would be dishonest if I didn't admit that I am envious of their banter. It seems that they can relate the most mundane happening to something memorable in Europe. I have come to accept that European trip stories are going to be shared around my table for decades.

While 2022 brought change and adventure, it also served detours and heartache. In September my brother became an above knee amputee. I still develop a lump in my throat whenever I write or speak those words. His health is stable but his struggle remains profound. With addiction at the helm of every aspect of his life, his adjustment and his ability to adapt his life to accommodate a new disability has been severely compromised. 

Reflecting on the past 12 months, I am looking ahead with an odd mixture of excitement and dread. I know that worrying and fretting are fruitless, but my anxiety is running high when I anticipate the changes ahead. Hopefully 2023 will prove kind and gracious.

 

Strange Time of Year

The week between Christmas and the new year feels like I am living in a twilight zone. While my family is basking in vacation mode, unaware of the day of the week and unconcerned about anything beyond entertainment and eating, I am juggling conference calls and work projects. Because our social circle is heavy with both teachers and students, it feels like the entire world is on vacation this week except for me. (Of course I know this is not true.)

Temporarily resuming my summer schedule of waking early to work in the quiet has been helpful and exhausting. I am fairly confident that my body won't adjust to the sleep changes until next week when I can resume my normal schedule. In the meantime, coffee and tea have become my companions. 

I don't begrudge anybody a vacation, but it is hard to be the only person with daily responsibilities. After all, I want to play too! I'm going to work to strike a balance today so I can try to enjoy this strange time of year.

Christmas 2022

 Despite my planning, my lengthy lists and my countdown calendar, Christmas morning still came down to the final moments. As I was pulling presents out of every nook and cranny in our home I found myself overwhelmed with sadness as I thought about Mr. Bill. Stashing presents at his house throughout the season simplified Christmas more than I appreciated at the time. I miss him so much!

Per tradition, my mom came down on Christmas Eve. Timmy, who had been working transforming his bedroom into an art gallery to impress his Nana, was on pins and needles waiting for her arrival. I think he was as excited to see his Nana as he was for Santa. We scurried around all day, cleaning and preparing for the holiday. As soon as my mom pulled into the driveway, I switched from preparation mode to holiday mode. 

I was busy, but I did my best to disconnect and enjoy the day. Saturday evening we unwrapped family gifts, prepared for Santa and went to bed. My Mom was tucked into Timmy's "art gallery" for the night, keeping him company and confined to his bedroom. When we were confident that they were asleep, the elves went to work.

Christmas morning was fantastic. Both boys were delighted with their surprises and spent the majority of the morning assembling and playing. In the afternoon my sister and her kids joined our holiday party. By the time dinner was finished and the kitchen was clean, I was exhausted! It was a fantastic but tiring day.

Yesterday was spent assembling, playing and cleaning. Today everybody (except for me) has off work/ school. Even after only a few days off, it is going to be hard to get back into the groove.

 

Panic Countdown

 The cold rain, which was supposed to stop yesterday evening, is still falling. I didn't need to get out of bed to know that it was still miserable outside. My tibia felt like it had been hit with a bat whenever I moved my leg. I managed to get through the majority of the day without impactful pain, a gift which I greatly appreciate, but my luck wore out when the sun set. 

Almost as soon as night began to fall my leg began to ache. The phantom pain that I had been expecting all day finally arrived, and she was making up for lost time. Because I had accomplished so much during the day, I did not feel guilty popping off my leg and crawling into bed early. I was able to sleep, probably because I was exhausted from cooking and cleaning all day, but the rest was fitful and uncomfortable. 

The rain is supposed to clear soon and I'm hoping that the pain will depart with it. The temperatures are supposed to plunge, but it is typically the precipitation that causes me the discomfort. I can handle the cold- as long as I am inside by the fire. Friend will be especially displeased with the sudden onset of frigid weather. At least our short walks will be driven by him and not because of my leg pain.

We are in the final countdown for Christmas and I do not have time to rest. Santa comes in a few days and his elves haven't wrapped anything yet. I'm definitely feeling the holiday pressure right now!

 

Painful Prep

 The Snowman is steadily counting down the minutes until Christmas. I don't feel prepared or ready, but I never do so this sense of panic feels normal and oddly comforting. I'm doing exactly what I should be doing at this time before Christmas: panic. 

The only people coming to my house this year are my Mom and my sister and her kids so any expectation that the house would be spotless has already been squashed. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of wrapping I need to undertake. Unfortunately I can't really do any of the wrapping until I have the house to myself. Ironically, a quiet house was one of my Christmas wishes. If I can't find time today to wrap, I'm going to have to send the boys out for lunch and a movie tomorrow. 

Today will be miserable outside. To our great disappointment, we are getting cold rain in lieu of snow. My leg is feeling the precipitation but I'm hoping that I will walk out of the pain as the day progresses. I have way too much to do today to deal with pain so I am praying that my limb and the phantom pain overlords will cooperate. Fingers crossed.

Snow Ready

My house may be under decorated compared to previous years but it is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas outside. For the first time in more than a decade, it looks like we might have a White Christmas. The boys, especially Timmy, is overjoyed with the prospect of sledding with his cousins on Christmas. In his eyes, it would make the day absolutely perfect.

Because snow is on the way later this week, the boys spent yesterday outside working on the leaves. Since it is Restitution Week, the final opportunity to make amends with Santa for all naughty transgressions throughout the year, I did not have to field complaints or procrastination. Talk about a nice change.

Timmy must be especially worried about his place on Santa's list because he raked like a man on a mission. Although the work was both dirty and tiring, it was nice being outside with everybody. Even Friend got into the action, happily chasing every stick we through out of the yard and into the woods. It took two hours and the yard is now ready for winter and for snow. 

Now we just wait for the flakes to start falling.

Christmas Countdown

 I cannot believe that we are down to the final countdown to Christmas. Although I have been counting down on my Snowman since September, I still feel rushed as the days tick down. I am done with shopping but I have not begun to wrap. I think once that is done I'll feel more relaxed. At least, that is what I'm telling myself right now.

Our weekend was relaxed but busy. We spent a lot of time running small errands but, at the end of the day, it was hard to pinpoint an accomplishment. Of course, Sunday was spent watching the World Cup. I don't follow the sport, but even I recognized an amazing game! 

I suppose one of the benefits of having an errand-running weekend was the extended time off of my leg. My sore, which had been making me miserable last week, is now nonexistent. Those blister Band-Aids are little miracle workers. I highly recommend that every amputee keep a box handy for those little skin malfunctions.  

With my leg completely healed and Christmas in the final countdown, this coming week will be busy. All of the boys are on vacation, so I expect a houseful of late sleepers as they completely unwind and relax. Thankfully I am accustomed to getting up early to take advantage of the quiet (and now productive) hours.

Getting Better

 It seems that my sore mitigation protocols were effective. Although I can still feel it, the intensity decreased as the day progressed. By nightfall I was walking Friend without my limp and felt a spring returning to my step. This morning I feel great, although I still plan on taking it easy today to make sure it continues to heal. 

The fact that I am waking up to an ice storm this morning certainly helps my "take it easy" plan. I enjoy playing in the leaves, in the rain and in the snow, but I do not do ice. I avoid ice at all costs. My little pup has the same ice aversion. This morning he refused to budge past our porch because of the freezing rain. 

Today will be busy with work, school, baking and staying cozy by the fire. Although my Snowman has been counting down since September, it is almost impossible to fathom that Christmas is 10 days away. Time has flown by so quickly, especially with the chaos and confusion of the autumn. I am beginning to feel overwhelmed by everything that we need to do, but I am also aware that nothing is so pressing that it is worthy of anxiety and stress. 

This year, I want a relaxed Christmas.

Little Painful Sore

 Ugh. I've been so frustrated for the past 24 hours because I have been reminded of my mobility vulnerability. I had plans for the beginning of the week which included significant baking and exterior decorating. I have the ingredients lined up and my pans are ready. Unfortunately, my plans have been stymied by an enraged ingrown hair on the edge of my tibia. 

I'm amazed how an utterly benign looking pimple could create so much discomfort. I felt it forming over the weekend and immediately began my mitigation protocols.  I managed to keep the sore from growing and breaking so I am going to consider the efforts a success. 

The tiny sore on my tibia ruled all of my activities yesterday. I thought about it when I was walking the dog, when I was making dinner and every single time I was called into another room to answer a question or to find a lost item. My limb was prominent throughout the day as I tried to avoid the pain that was caused when my socket pressed against my tibia. 

Pain is exhausting. I was so tired last night yet I felt like I had accomplished so little. This morning the sore is still there but is not as prominent. I am going to continue to protect it as much as possible. I really don't have time for skin issues right now.

Vacation week

Another Christmas season weekend has come and gone. My house now has more baked goods, is holding a few more hidden presents and is decked out with more lights and blow-up figures. It is definitely looking (and feeling) a lot like Christmas!

This is the last week of school before the beginning of Christmas break. At the beginning of this new school year I was so frazzled I wasn't sure how we would navigate to this point. Thankfully everything has worked out. Timmy has settled into his new school and we have adjusted to the new schedule and expectations. It definitely wasn't easy, but I finally feel like I am back in control of my schedule. 

This week will be busy but rather uneventful. Vacation starts Friday afternoon for the boys, so I know that there eyes are looking ahead. Hopefully any surprises this week will be fun!

Relaunch

 A few months ago I received an email from a network hosting platform, informing me that a project I created was going to be "reconfigured" on December 8. Since that date, I have been immersing myself in webinars and flowcharts, trying to plan my implementation of the new features on launch day. Yesterday has been circled on my calendar, in red, since I learned of the transition. I knew the task was going to be trying, but I underestimated the herculean to-do list that unraveled as I went down the rabbit hole of each "quick fix."

I woke up early, pouring myself a large mug of coffee before settling down to tackle the relaunch. With the exception of breaking to settle the kids, I worked for 14 hours straight. By the time I turned off my laptop I could no longer focus my bloodshot eyes. I had a breakthrough after lunch in understanding the flow so I am optimistic that it will be easier going forward.

Wish me luck! Time to get back at it.

A Special Evening

Yesterday was one that I will remember forever. Watching Robby's induction into the National Honor Society I was flooded with pride. His road through school has not been smoothly paved, but he has remained on course and has worked hard. He deserved the honor and all of the accolades.

After school we dressed in nice clothes, kissed Scott and Timmy goodnight and headed out for the evening.Our annual Nutcracker trip is one that we both anticipate and enjoy. Per tradition, we began at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. After eating we were able to stroll through the mall before heading to the theater for the ballet. It was wonderful just spending some quiet time with Robby.  

The Nutcracker Ballet has been our tradition for almost a decade, but this was our first in-person show since the pandemic began. For the past two years we streamed the ballet at home while enjoying a nice take-out dinner. Although we made the best out of the circumstances, it felt comforting to return to our in-person tradition. 

Induction and the Nutcracker

Today is a special day in our house. 

This afternoon Robby, my sweet little Koopa, will be inducted into the National Honor Society. I used to lose sleep by fretting and worrying over his school options. I remember the devastation I felt when he was refused admission to a private school because of his hearing. Look at him now!

Despite all of the obstacles he has faced, Robby has avoided excuses and continues to work hard. I am so incredibly proud of this accomplishment and I am looking forward to celebrating with him. His Induction Ceremony is being conducted virtually this afternoon. (If you are interested in watching send me a message for the link.)

After his Induction, Robby and I will head out for our annual Nutcracker adventure. We have been seeing the Nutcracker together for nearly a decade. I am looking forward to seeing the performance in person this year, even if it means we will be masking. 

Stay tuned for pics!

Our Tree

Every December our little family climbs into the SUV to drive to West Virginia in our quest for the perfect Christmas tree. During the drive to the tree farm my imagination floods with tranquil images of chopping down the tree, all while joyfully singing Jingle Bells as a family. By the time we pull into the farm gates an hour later, I'm bubbling with holiday anticipation and excitement. 

It isn't until we have begun our trek into the fields that I remember that I do not live within a Norman Rockwell painting. My family, specifically all three of my "boys," view cutting down a tree as a chore instead of a joy. As soon as we are immersed within the confidence of the tree the complaints and bickering begin to fly. My idealistic Christmas visions abruptly dissolve, revealing the reality of our family.

I love Christmas tree shopping, but I am alone. The boys would be content with a colorful (and easy to assembly) artificial tree. After the complains that flowed after schlepping the 12 foot tree out of the field, I am leaning towards conceding. Nothing zaps the holiday spirit more than hearing a barrage of complains and frustration during an activity that is supposed to be enjoyable.

After 16 years, perhaps it is time for a new tradition, one that everybody might enjoy. I love our ginormous tree, but their complaints continue to ring in my ears.

 

Field Trip

 I love my job. Not only do I love what I do, but the flexibility that I am afforded by working from home is a priceless benefit. Today Robby is able to take advantage of a cool opportunity because we all have the flexibility in our work and school situations. Instead of a regular school day, this afternoon we are taking a field trip to the Crytologic Museum (about an hour away).  

Robby's Enrichment School teacher, who also works at the Smithsonian Institute, was offered a private group tour of the inner workings of the museum in return for a presentation he provided. Several students were selected to accompany him, Robby included. My Koopa was walking on air when he was presented with the invitation. It took some juggling, but I knew that I was going to make it happen.

This morning we will pack up and head to Annapolis MD for the afternoon. Robby will join his teacher at the museum while Timmy and I explore the sites in the area. The weather is going to be beautiful so it is a fantastic day for a field trip!

Rain Pain

 I'm sitting on the couch, slurping down another mug of coffee while I'm hoping to perk up for the day ahead. I didn't sleep well last night and I am definitely feeling it today. As soon as I woke up I realized the source of my night pain- it is raining. From the aching and twinging I felt last night, I don't need a meteorologist to tell me that the precipitation will fall throughout the day. I am a human barometer!

Unlike phantom pain, weather-induced discomfort rarely wanes during the day. If my body is going to feel a weather change, it will flare throughout the storm. With a storm front shifting and cold rain falling steadily, I am in for a long day. At this point, anything above misery will be considered a victory.

While I'm going to struggle with discomfort, the boys will continue to tackle their studies. Timmy has resumed his schedule beautifully and with little to no complaining. The fact that he loves his new school really lifts my spirits. I adore seeing him so happy learning and growing! Yesterday I could hear the giggling coming down the hallway as he was working with a friend on a project.

Robby has also resumed his studies, although his complaining is a little more prolific than Timmy's. Part of Robby's lamenting comes from habit while part is designed simply to annoy. (He is successful in his quest.) Robby has a field trip tomorrow, so today he has a larger than normal to-do list. I'm sure he will be delighted. (Insert sarcastic Mom laughing.)

Art Class

To my surprise and delight, the return to school (and work) was easy and pain-free. Timmy, who complains about school each morning, only mildly muttered his discontent before settling down to login for the day.  The jolt back to reality always stings after a vacation so I am thankful for a smooth experience yesterday. I hate starting the new week with a fight.

After school was busy with chauffeuring the kids to and from their activities. Timmy started an extra-curricular art class and last night was his first class. While Scott drove Robby to band practice, I took off in the opposite direction to deliver my little artist. Although he admitted to being nervous, he proclaimed that he had a "spectacular" time.

Today is busy with work, school and meetings. Because we don't have any activities planned this evening I am optimistic that I'll be able to start baking some holiday cookies. After all, Christmas is only 26 days!

Thanksgiving Recap

 Our Thanksgiving was quiet but enjoyable. My sister and her kids, myself and my crew and my Mom were the only guests. Compared to the crowds and the chaos that have been hosted around her table in years' past, the house felt spacious and relaxing.  It was nice to have a relatively low-key day.

Just because we didn't host a large crowd, our Thanksgiving wasn't without activity. On Thursday morning Timmy and my sister bundled up and ran a Turkey Trot. While I'm not a runner, I am an enthusiastic cheerleader. I had a surprisingly fun time cheering on all of the trotters.

In addition to all of our Thanksgiving activities, we did manage to fit in some professional photos and some shopping. (I try to snap some professional photos of the kids with their Nana and together every few years.) I am delighted with the photos and I know that they will be cherished for decades to come.  

Today we are back to reality, and back to work. I think the transition is going to sting a bit, but hopefully it won't take long to get back into the groove. Right now, all eyes are moving towards Christmas!

Early Arrival

Yesterday was busy and long, but hearing the kids laughing with their cousins into the night made it worth the effort. We decided to gain another day of Thanksgiving fun by heading to PA a day early. Per tradition, Scott will meet us here after work today. (We always drive separately so that Scott can fill his car with the Black Friday discovered surprises and ferry them home without being noticed by the boys.) The kids were ecstatic with the prospect of coming here early.

Today Timmy has school (at Nana's, which he finds hilarious) in the morning. I'm hoping that we can set him up in a quasi-quiet location so that both he and his classmates and teachers are not disturbed by the chaos of the Cousin Crew. They do tend to get rowdy when they are together. 

While the kids are playing, I'll be helping my Mom get ready for the holiday. If you are driving today, be safe!

Thanksgiving Ready

My weekend aspirations came to fruition and my house is slowly being transformed into a holiday wonderland. The temperatures dropped quickly, keeping us inside and cozy around the fire. It was a fantastic weekend to watch Christmas movies, bake cookies and decorate the house. The Christmas spirit is running high in our house this morning!

While I adore Christmas, I am ridiculously excited for the Thanksgiving holiday. While we aren't doing anything extravagant or grand, the Cousin Crew will be united and I'll be able to spend time with my Mom and my sister. We are only hosting immediate family this year, but I know the house will be overflowing with the mischief and the squeals of happiness. 

Timmy, Robby and I will be heading to PA after school today. We want to miss the traffic and spend some extra time with family. It wasn't hard to convince them to leave early with me. Once they heard that their cousins are off of school all week they were ready to pack their bags. Scott will head up tomorrow after work. 

Let the Thanksgiving holiday begin!

Decorating

 I can't believe we are approaching the final weekend before Thanksgiving. It feels like I only recently brought out my 100 day Countdown To Christmas Snowman. Now we are approaching the full swing of the season. After such a difficult and heartbreaking autumn, I'm looking forward to a lighthearted and happy Christmas season.

I've begun decorating the house (the inside only right now), but I have a lot of work to do. This weekend I plan on lighting up the fireplace while I stream Christmas movies and decorate the house. Hopefully my living room will be transformed into Santa's Workshop by the time I'm done! 

While I'm busy decorating the boys will be tackling the final assault of leaves. Robby has become skilled at driving the lawnmower which has been extremely helpful. Now Rob mulches the leaves while riding the mower while Scott uses the blower to clear the flowerbeds. (Timmy usually grabs a rake and makes some piles to jump in with Friend.)

Whatever you are doing this weekend, I hope it brings you a smile.

Chills

 Yesterday I made a seasonal mistake that I will try to avoid for the rest of the winter. I grabbed my liner and rolled it on without consideration of the ambient temperature. The temps dropped overnight, plunging us from summertime temps to flirting with snow within a few hours. Like it or not, winter is here.

Pulling your limb out from under warm covers and slipping on a chilly liner is a shockingly miserable way to start the day. Talk about a jolt to your system; it feels like my limb is being wrapped by an ice pack when the liner is chilled. Typically I pull the liner under the covers with me for a few minutes to remove the cold that settles into the silicone overnight. Yesterday I didn't realize it had become so cold and I didn't prepare appropriately. I definitely won't be making that mistake again this season!

Dealing with a cold liner requires some necessary planning, but the effort is worth it. I've tried towel warmers and heating pads but I quickly discovered that both of those options require more planning and time than I am willing to invest. I found that bringing the liner under the covers for a few minutes makes donning the liner tolerable with the least amount of effort. It turns out I gravitate towards the solution with the minimal amount of effort.

Mr. Bill

While our new neighbor his kind, I still miss Mr. Bill. I used to visit with him daily, just chatting while sitting in his glider.  Without his company and friendship, this neighborhood has become very lonely. For the most part I've adjusted to the solitude, but I continue to miss him. I hear from Mr. Bill every few months. We call each other to chat and to check-in. Phone calls are nice, and our rare in-person reunions are always too short for our conversations. 

Last week I heard from Mr. Bill. I hadn't spoken with him in several months and I was beginning to worry. When I saw his number pop onto my caller-id, I felt a surge of relief. After catching up on the kids and my work, he started into his most recent adventure.

 It turns out that his first ex-wife, with whom he shared a volatile yet passionate relationship, moved down to Florida and ended up living in the community about 15 miles from his house. He ran into her at the grocery store and, according to him, almost knocked over a whole display of pineapples trying to scurry away without being seen. She saw him and, because she "has a nice rack for being in her 80s," he gave her his phone number.  She apparently calls him all the time, inventing reasons for him to visit.

Then at the beginning of September Mr. Bill's second wife (the mother of his children) moved down to be closer to the kids. For some background, she cheated on him so he slept with her sister. They are not friendly although he does try to remain cordial. She now lives down the street and he sees her daily. 

Fast forward to three weeks ago when his third (and final) ex-wife Charlotte showed up at his front door, begging him back.  Charlotte is the ex-wife who used to send her panties to him in the mail. Those unboxings were fun! I remember little Robby pulling out the panties and Bill saying, "Well buddy, let me tell you. They used to be a lot smaller." Charlotte and Mr. Bill dated again before he moved to Florida, but he broke it off because she wouldn't kiss him in the parking lot of Bonefish Grill.    

According to Mr. Bill, the scene unfolded in the following order.

He heard the doorbell so he put on pants to answer. 

He opened the door and saw Charlotte standing in front of him, wearing bright red lipstick and a very low cut shirt. 

She announced that she missed him and moved in down the street. 

He realized that she is now living in the same community as his first ex-wife.  

He began to feel light headed. 

His daughter made him sit down. 

Mr. Bill was then rushed to the hospital.

He is recovering from a minor heart attack. 

He assured me that he is fine and, aside from dealing with the ex-wives from his youth, he is doing well.

Snoopy Painting!

Timmy has a newly discovered love of art. We searched the internet and downloaded coloring sheets for 100 great masterpieces in galleries around the world. With his coloring pages in hand, he spends hours studying and trying to replicate the Great Masters. Zooming in on the images on the computer, he does his best to copy the colors and the shading that each artist used. Of course, it is a little harder to do shadows with Crayola markers instead of oil paints, but that doesn't stop him from trying!

Using his love of art as inspiration, Scott and I surprised Timmy with a trip to the painting studio on Saturday. We joined the class and we each created our own Snoopy Thanksgiving masterpiece. Timmy, paint brushes in hand and concentrating on the instructor, was truly in his element. He worked throughout the two-hour class, painstakingly following each step and trying to replicate the instructor. At the end of the class, he was delighted with his work. 

I suspect that more art classes will be in our future.

Walking Day

 19 years ago today I took my first prosthetic steps. My journey to limb loss has been riddled with so many anniversaries and reminders. This is an occasion I embrace and celebrate as the moment I took my first steps into my new life.

Happy Walking Day to me!

New Fridge

 Tuesday ended up being quite eventful. In addition to voting and honoring my Dad on what would have been his 75th birthday, I was provided with the opportunity to hone my appliance repair skills. (Spoiler alert: they are very limited.)

I woke up on Tuesday and noticed that the creamer bottle felt warm when I grabbed it from the fridge. After checking, it was clear it froze up (again.) Since this isn't my first rodeo with a frozen refrigerator, I quickly cleared the shelf and positioned the hair dryer onto the fan in the back of the appliance. I drank my coffee while the hair dryer was running in the fridge, providing a good 30 minutes for the ice to fully melt.

I poured another mug of coffee, turned off the hair dryer and mopped up the mess. After I closed the refrigerator and taped it shut, I turned on the turbo cool button and walked away. I was confident that the issue had resolved, just as it had only a few weeks ago.

I checked the temperature later in the afternoon and became alarmed when I realized that it wasn't cooling quickly. After monitoring the temperature throughout the evening, it became clear that the appliance was broken beyond my defrosting abilities. After researching our options, we purchased a new refrigerator.

Yesterday our new refrigerator was delivered. Although it is always frustrating changing out a fridge, I love our new appliance. We weren't planning on having to change refrigerators, and while I'm frustrated with the situation, I am delighted with the result. I love my new fridge!

Vote!

I have been dreading today for months. Am I the only person who is in anxious knots this Election Day? I'm already looking forward to tomorrow, then the hate filled candidate commercials are automatically replaced with ads selling coffee, candy and cookie dough mix. Holiday commercials are far more palatable to digest.

In addition to Election Day, I am also honoring what would have been my Dad's 75th birthday. Sigh. I miss him but today the loss feels especially profound. I am sure that I would have planned something memorable for his birthday.

I can't help but find my mind wandering, contemplating what life would be like for him if he had survived. One thing is certain- I know he would be so proud of all of his grandchildren. Happy Birthday Dad!

And don't forget to vote!

 

Costume Dance

 We had a fantastic, albeit quiet, weekend at home. On Saturday I alternated between playing outside with the kids and working on some lingering work projects. After dinner Robby got ready for his dance while Scott and I devised a plan for the evening because we wanted to minimize driving. We settled on dropping Robby off at the dance and heading to the mall to window shop and get ice cream.  Killing time until the dance was over felt like a better option than driving back and forth all night.

It has been a long time since Scott and I leisurely walked a mall. I am fairly sure we haven't done it since the pandemic. It was surprisingly fun just walking around and watching people. Timmy seemed to enjoy himself as much as us as he made a lengthy Christmas wish list in the toy store. 

Yesterday we worked in the yard, clearing the leaves and trying to prepare for the winter. We finished the yard work approximately 5 minutes before the storms rolled into the area. The heavy rain and winds scattered more leaves all over our yard. Sigh. The annual leaf battle is officially in full swing.

 

Vodka

 TGIF!

Yesterday morning, as a special treat, I allowed Timmy to take my new water bottle to school. Clutching the oversized iridescent bottle, he was over-the-moon skipping into his classroom. When I picked him up that afternoon, his teacher met me at the door with a smirk.

Timmy, very proud of the new bottle, excitedly shared it with his classmates and teachers. After showing his teacher, he confided in her about the contents. "Don't worry. I didn't put vodka in it. It is filled with plain water today."

Just to clarify, we are not vodka drinkers. I don't have anything against vodka, it is just not something we enjoy. We have never had vodka in the house, nor have we ever consumed it in front of Hamlet. Of course, trying to explain our innocence was only going to contribute to my looking guilty.

Today is a virtual school day, so hopefully I won't have to explain something else to the teacher. I'm looking forward to the next few days. Another beautiful autumn weekend is on the horizon and I plan on making the most of it. 

We have made family plans to spend a significant amount of time outside this weekend, cleaning up the yard and preparing for winter. With crisp temperatures and bright skies in the forecast, I think I chose the perfect weekend for our Fall Clean-Up. (Of course, I'm sure that my plan will be met with complaints and groans.)

Update

Things are starting to settle down after an exciting Halloween. Timmy is extremely proud of his obscenely large bowl of candy on the kitchen counter, often taking it down to sort and organize his treasures. Over the next few days the spooky decorations will be removed and replaced by turkeys and Santa. After all, we only have 51 days until Christmas!

A lot of you have reached out to ask for an update, so I thought I would take this opportunity to fill you all in on my brother. He is in a long term nursing facility because he is battling a wound infection. He has had the wound vacuum attached on and off for nearly a month but the infection is stubborn. His pain continues but I'm sure the infection is contributing. At this point, he is in a waiting and healing pattern. Until the limb heals, there isn't a lot we can do to help him.

Thank you for your caring and your prayers. Both are much appreciated.

 

Van Gogh

 My little Hamlet was so excited for his Historical Figures presentation at school. He worked throughout the month on his report. His costume was on point and he was ready to represent Vincent Van Gogh. After a month of preparation and planning, yesterday morning was go time for the presentation.

My little Van Gogh stood up, cleared his throat and stood like a deer staring into car headlights. After what felt like an eternity, he began to hum the theme to Ghostbusters. He shuffled his feet to his tune and finally began to speak. Unfortunately he was mumbling so much it was nearly nonsensical. His eyes began to swell with tears as he battled nearly paralyzing stage fright.

He could have run out of the room, but he stayed planted. I could tell that he was melting, but he never gave up. His teacher was able to get a conversation started and, eventually, Timmy was sharing his information about Vincent Van Gogh. He finished his presentation with his trademark flourish.

"Van Gogh tried to do a lot of things to be happy. None of them worked. So he shot himself in the stomach and died. Because of my presentation I kinda understand how he was feeling. I really suck at this. Anyways, he didn't die right away though. It would have been better if he had shot himself in the head because it would have been right away. Instead, he had to lay around for a few days while his organs rotted away. That's all. Thank you and Happy Halloween."

After school was over our family switched from Van Gogh to trick-or-treating. The boys carved pumpkins and readied themselves for the evening. Timmy and Scott headed out trick-or-treating on the scooter while Robby and I headed out for hibachi. Thankfully the raindrops, although present, were not heavy or disastrous.  They had a fantastic time and brought home quite a haul of candy!

Happy Halloween!

 Happy Halloween!

According to Timmy, this is the best day in the whole year. He loves everything about Halloween. From spooky decorations to wearing costumes and venturing out after dark, he is truly in his element. Unfortunately we are supposed to have rain this evening, which will certainly put a damper on his trick-or-treating aspirations. Fingers crossed it holds off until after 8 so he can enjoy the night.

In addition to his costume for tonight, this year Timmy is allowed to wear costume to school. All month long he has been working on a project about Van Gogh. (He loves Starry Night.) He has worked hard on his presentation and today he will give it to his class dressed as Van Gogh during the "Historical Figures Party." 

While Timmy will go trick-or-treating rain or shine, Robby and I have other plans. He and I plan to go out for Japanese Hibachi. We had such a good time going last Halloween that we decided to make it a tradition. 

Photos tonight!

Halloween Weekend!

Thankfully the phantom pain that plagued me throughout Wednesday night did not revisit last night. I went to bed early and I slept well. Despite some twitching when I was falling asleep, I slept through the night and never woke due to pain. I woke up this morning feeling both refreshed and relieved!

Hopefully the phantom pain visit was isolated because I really don't have time to slow down right now. We are starting Halloween weekend and there are a lot of activities to attend. This weekend we have Halloween parties, ghost camp fires and a costume skate party. We will be busy, but I have no doubt that my little Hamlet will be in his element. He loves everything Halloween related.

Have a great weekend!

Phantom Pain Returns

 Ouch!

Today is going to be rough. Last night I experienced a bout of phantom and nerve pain that lasted into the early hours of the morning. My leg was stinging and kicking for hours. None of my usual tricks helped significantly despite all of my efforts. I kept trying to alleviate the pain, but time was the only variable that helped. Unfortunately, time moves very slowly in the middle of the night.

It didn't take me long to realize that I was in for a difficult night. In order for Scott to sleep I ended up moving to the couch before midnight. From my perch on the couch I just tried to remain as comfortable as possible while I waited for the pain to subside. Talk about feeling helpless!

I worry my lack of sleep will impact my entire day. I have a large pot of coffee brewing and I'm hoping it will be enough to get through the day. Working and being a mom doesn't stop because of pain.

Costume Prep

Despite being busy, our day was rather uneventful. Timmy and Robby were busy with school while I worked through the morning and afternoon. In the evening Robby went to band and Timmy and I played outside with Friend. I don't really appreciate them at the time, but I really do love those laid back and 'normal' days. Today our Halloween activities begin so I don't think we will have another quiet day until after trick-or-treat night.

Timmy is going to be busy during the next few days with holiday festivities. Between parties at school and at our local park, his little social calendar is filling quickly. Today we will be baking and decorating in celebration of the spooky season. We are also working on his costume for school.

Because his school mandated that his costume reflect a historical figure, this year Timmy is going to have two distinct costumes. One for school and one for trick-or-treat night. For school he is dressing as Vincent Van Gogh. True to tradition, I'm not going to reveal his official costume until Halloween.

 

Monday Ready

What a wonderful weekend. The sky was bright and the temperatures were crisp. Since we didn't have any time-consuming errands or projects planned, I was able to relax and completely unwind. I spent hours walking Friend through the neighborhood, enjoying the solitude and watching him chase leaves as they floated through the wind. For my little pup, falling leaves are simply magical toys floating down from heaven. 

Timmy, who has a new quest for knowledge, spent a lot of time reading and working on his maze books. I am amazed and delighted by his new love of reading and learning. His new school curriculum has lit a fire within my little Hamlet. Watching him curl up with a book for a few hours makes my heart sing. 

Robby spent his weekend chatting and gaming with his friends and playing his guitar. We went for a long bike ride yesterday afternoon which was a lot of fun. (I'm so glad I got over my fear of riding my bike post amputation.) Scott spent much of his weekend watching sports and searching forums about sports. 

Have a great day!

Picture Day

 Happy Friday!

This week has been busy but productive. Between Covid and our trip to NYC, I was feeling overwhelmed with projects and clutter. Slowly but surely, I am back on track with everything. It has been a long time since I walked into a weekend feeling like I am entitled to relax.

Of course, before we can begin the weekend I have to get through today. Until I opened my email this morning I had completely forgotten that both boys have school photos today. Their classmates will be wearing new clothes and fresh haircuts. Mine will be strutting in front of the camera sporting antiquated locks and a naturally disheveled look. 

Hamlet, always making his own unique impression, will also be photographed with 1/2 of his face colored a fading smurf blue. I picked him up yesterday and he had colored half of his body (face, arm and leg) with a blue marker. We scrubbed and showered for more than 30 minutes, leaving a blue stain and splatter across my vanity, tub and bathroom floor. We were able to wash away much of the blue, but the shadow remains. 

When I asked him why, he explained that he saw it on the TV when he was watching the football game with his dad.  He told me that he thought it looked fun, but he didn't know that it was a special make-up until his teacher explained it to him. Perhaps seeing my frustration, he cheerfully offered that he was able to take a photo of his face and he uploaded it for his "creative" assignment at school.

Sigh. Oh well. Another mom fail I suppose.

Deflated

 Poor Hamlet. He woke up yesterday morning with unparalleled enthusiasm. All morning he talked about getting ready for his "spectacular orgasm." Clutching his new pile of "orgasm" paper, he happily ran into school. 

When I picked him up later that day, he looked dejected. He quickly told me that he didn't use his special paper because they went on a virtual field trip instead. Poor kid. He was promised a "spectacular orgasm" but ended up being pushed back because of something streaming on a computer screen. (I know how he feels! hahaha)

Today he will work on his spectacular Thanksgiving orgasm. Hopefully it will meet all of his expectations. It is so deflating when the build-up doesn't match reality.

Spectacular Orgasm

 Despite spending the first few days crying in the bathroom, I must admit that Timmy's new school has been a great change. His enthusiasm for learning is unparalleled. It is almost as if the teacher has flipped a switch for my little Hamlet, unlocking the magic of books and learning. Witnessing his newly untapped quest for learning has been amazing.

Yesterday Timmy came running out of class at the end of the day to tell me about his educational adventures. From the smile on his face and the speed of his speaking, there was little doubt that he was excited about his new project. At a volume louder than I had wished, he began to fill me in on the details.

"Momom, guess what! Tomorrow we are going to make spectacular orgasms. We looked at pictures today and the orgasm will blow your mind!."

My ears definitely perked up by the promise of a "spectacular orgasm," but I knew that he misunderstood the word. I struggled to figure out what he meant to say but thankfully he was able to fill in some missing details.

"Momom, Making orgasms is not easy. You have to follow the directions perfectly or your orgasm won't work."

While true, I still knew that we were talking about two very different things. It wasn't until he continued talking that I was able to figure out what he was doing.

"Momom, I am going to make a spectacular Thanksgiving orgasm. Can we get the orgasm paper tonight? I need to take it to school tomorrow."

Origami. Timmy is learning to fold spectacular origami shapes. Regardless of what he makes, I will always see it as the "spectacular orgasm" he gleefully promised.

Weekend Wrap-Up

 What a beautiful autumn weekend! The weather was clear and crisp which, after a muggy and bug filled summer, was delightful. I appreciate every season, but the combination of colors and cool air makes autumn feel magical. After Covid and our NYC getaway, this was the first healthy weekend I have spent at home in a long time. It was nice to have a "feel good" weekend again.

On Saturday we headed to Haymarket Day, which is a community street fair in a nearby town. Every year the boys look forward to visiting the various vendors to obtain as many giveaways as possible. By the time we walked through the entire event I was lugging home three bags overflowing with branded pencils, toothbrushes and hand sanitizer bottles. Towards the end of the event I was struggling to keep up with my family, but this time the issue was my stamina and not my leg. (I still fatigue quickly when I'm walking because of Covid.)

Yesterday Timmy and I spent the afternoon reworking his bedroom to accommodate his school supplies. He is delighted to have a workspace in his room and I'm happy to have the school materials moved from my living room. Hopefully virtual school works well from his bedroom because I'm tired of tiptoeing through my day. It will be nice to have the house back!