Yesterday marked 19 years since my amputation. I am astounded that nearly two decades has passed since that difficult day. While it feels like, and it many ways has been, a lifetime, in some ways it feels like just yesterday. The memories, when I allow them to visit, remain strong.
I would prefer to celebrate my Walking Day instead of my Ampuversary, but the latter always creeps into my mind on July 3. Regardless of attempting to fight them back, the memories always flow. I have learned to give into the reminiscing because fighting it only results in more frustration. Yesterday was no exception.
I woke up early, sat on the couch and allowed my mind to wander. I ended up crying, grieving for the experience and for the young woman who had been forever changed. I love my life and I can't imagine living it with both biological legs. But my life today does not resemble the life I had planned. Sitting on the couch with Friend on my lap, I ended up crying for what I had lost.
After a good cry and a cup of coffee, I was able to push the memories of July 3 away. I spent the remainder of the day trying to forget the anniversary. When the thoughts did creep into my mind, I made the decision to focus on my accomplishments instead of my losses. It is easy to focus on the positives when my mind is no longer cluttered by the grief. After my morning cry, I had a fantastic Ampuversary.
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