Yesterday is one of those days that will become infamous in our family. I didn't anticipate a memory-making day, but sometimes the universe just aligns. Unfortunate for me, yesterday will probably be retold for generations.
After days of heavy rain, the weather was finally clear and comfortable. While Scott was working on the chimney (which is still leaking), I took the opportunity to take Friend on a long walk. On our way back into our neighborhood, I stopped to pick up the mail. Because of the weather, I haven't picked up the mail in several days. (Our mailbox is approximately 1/4 mile from our house).
I opened up the mailbox and saw a few ants on a package. No big deal. I blew them off, bundled the mail in my arms before Friend and I headed back home. We took about 5 steps when I was overcome with pain in my arms. My arms were covered with thousands of tiny black-biting ants.
The ants were pouring out of my mail bundle. They were scurrying faster the more I tried to wipe them off. They were quickly moving up my neck and down my cleavage. For little faces, they have a nasty bite! I felt like I had stepped into a horror movie. I threw the mail and I began to run.
Or, at least I tried to run. The ant tsunami was too much. I ripped off my dress off and ditched it (along with several thousand ants) in an attempt to get rid of the bugs.
It turns out I wasn't wearing a bra. I wasn't planning on streaking down my little road. Yet there I was, living the dream. I had become a one-legged "soft" framed middle-aged woman, awkwardly trotting naked down her road while frantically wailing and brushing her arms and neck all while screaming wildly vulgar expletives.
Who knew ants could cause so much pain and embarrassment?
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