Adjusting to life as a cardiac family is difficult yet, in many ways, the emotions remind me of the summer of my amputation. Scott and I were both scared, frustrated and lost in our own ways. This summer those same emotions are again rising, but it is more difficult because our kids are involved. Watching them struggle to accept and adjust to life after their Dad's heart attack has been really hard.
Robby continues to blame himself for his dad's coronary event. While he understands that his dad suffers from coronary artery disease, the timing of the heart attack remains most unfortunate. I don't think it will matter how many times I tell Robby that it was not his fault, I fear he will always harbor a little guilt. (Scott's heart attack began as he was moving Robby out of the dormitory for the summer.)
While Timmy does not assume any guilt, which is good, he seems to have trouble accepting the changes within his dad. Until Scott completes cardiac rehab, there are a lot of restrictions on activities. There could be restrictions after rehab as well, but I keep trying to push that worry can down the road. Robby and I are trying to fill the void, but it is not easy!
I've been so lucky that my leg has cooperated throughout this ordeal. The past two days have greeted us with heavy rains and cooler air. I woke up this morning and my leg is angry and does not want to be confined in a prosthesis. I think today will be one for the couch and crutches.
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