Badges

 Yesterday was the National Night Out, a police led initiative to integrate and ingratiate into their communities. The boys look forward to the event each year because it is littered with freebies, games and activities. This is our first year in West Virginia and we weren't sure what to expect, but we were pleasantly surprised by the event.  

While the boys had a blast trolling through the booths for freebies and food, I felt uncomfortable from the moment we arrived. The police presence, which was expected because they were hosting, immediately triggered my anxiety. With every badge I saw my brother being shot. I don't know if I will ever be able to disassociate all badges from my anxiety, but I do know that I am not there yet.

Even though I struggled with the badges, it was nice doing something 'normal' as a family again. This is the first event we have resumed post-heart attack. It is definitely time for us to start returning to our lives again. Scott is healthier and we need to figure out a new way ahead.