Wii

 This weekend was rough.  The constant coverage of the shooting in Utah has triggered my grief and anxiety over my brother.  Like Kirk, my brother was shot in the neck. Only when Jae was killed by gun violence, nobody cared. 

The shooting put Jae in my mind, but a series of coincidences over the weekend kept him omnipresent. Robby has been challenging his skills by 'jail breaking' previous gaming systems.  The most recent project has been reworking our old Wii, which hasn't been used in decades. Excited to test out his new features, he called us all into his room. The wind was knocked out of me when I looked at the television screen and saw our avatars from long ago. My brother's avatar was walking around the screen, animated and full of life.

The drama towards the end of Jae's life has made retrieving happier memories difficult. Seeing his avatar I was flooded with memories of the times he played with Robby. When he was healthy, he was a really good uncle. I'm so grateful that his avatar remained to remind me of those times. 

Sigh. I miss him. 

Today Scott has a cardiologist appointment. I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being scared. His blood pressure has been a struggle as of late. I'm hoping it will be a simple medication switch, but I think I will always be scared.