Number One...

Although Monday marked the beginning of Robby's second week of school, it was also my first opportunity to establish a new schedule for the family. Last week, between my preparing to travel and Robby's drama/trauma of starting school, it was simply too chaotic to even attempt a routine. In many ways, my excitement is reminiscent of the first week in January. I'm embracing new opportunities to put my dreams and goals in motion.

As my work responsibilities have increased I've been struggling to find the balance between my professional and family obligations. My desire to spend quality time with Robby has forced me to wake up before dawn in order to get my projects complete. With him being in school and freeing up six hours a day, I'm looking forward to working more normal hours.

Between working, spending time with Robby and caring for my Mom, I have become lapse about going to the gym. I've wanted to go but there never seemed to be enough time. As a result my pants have been feeling snugger and I've lost my "I feel stronger" enthusiasm. My self-esteem has taken a nose dive and the negative thought loop is beginning to play in my head.

It's easy to list the excuses for why I haven't been to the gym in three weeks. In reality, it come down to one glaring point- I haven't been making myself a priority in my life. As of Monday morning, that has changed!

I woke up early and packed my gym bag. After I dropped Robby off at school I drove directly to the gym.  I think that I have the best chance of not becoming distracted by work and meetings if I work-out first thing in the morning. I felt oddly apprehensive entering the gym, as if my absence should be the source of shame. Of course, nobody noticed and I was able to resume my work-out.

I felt fatigued but satisfied when I finished. I came home and worked for the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. Despite the time I spent in the gym, my projects were done by the time I picked Robby up at school!

This school year offers new possibilities for each member of our family. As much as I yearn to keep him little, Robby will grow up significantly during the next few months. He's going to spread his wings, make new friends and have wonderful experiences. I'm going to learn to re-prioritize myself. Who knows how far I'll go when I finally give myself the time and care that I deserve!

Something To Make People Happy

I will never forget the moment I witnessed the horrors of September 11. The images are so vivid in my mind that it is difficult to grasp that the events took place 11 years ago. So much has changed, but the raw pain of that day remains fresh.

I am thankful that Robby will never experience the turmoil of those days, but the events have certainly shaped his world. We are honored to have been able to spend time with wounded military, offering support but more importantly providing an escape from their routines. Robby is so at ease around our wounded warriors, yet I don't think he fully comprehends the reasons behind their injuries. In reality, I don't think I want him to understand.

We have always felt that it was important to convey the significance of September 11. As Robby has been growing up, Scott and I have both struggled to find a way to explain the events to him without causing undo fear. We don't want him to be afraid, but we do want him to be aware. 

Out of a desire to honor the victims, Robby and I have been baking and delivering cookies to our local fire house every year on September 11th. While we are baking, I talk with him about the buildings that fell. We talk about the victims who couldn't get out of the buildings, the passengers who died on the planes and the heroes who tried to help. I let him lead the conversation, asking questions but not offering unsolicited information.

Last night, per our family tradition, Robby and I worked in the kitchen preparing a large batch of chocolate chip cookies. As soon as the cookies were cool we made a small plate of treats for Mr. Bill. We headed over to visit and to surprise him with our gooey chocolate chip cookies.

After thanking us profusely and woofing down a cookie in a single gulp, Mr. Bill asked Robby why he baked the treats. I think he expected Robby to say he was taking them to school or to surprise his Daddy. Instead, Mr. Bill was stunned by Robby's detailed explanation.

"Mr. Bill, we baked a huge tray cookies for the firemen. They are going to be sad tomorrow. You see Mr. Bill, a long long time ago, before I was born, planes were flown into buildings. People died inside, and it made everybody super scared and sad. The firemen were super duper sad because a lot of their friends tried to go in to rescue people and they died. The buildings fell when they were on the stairs. Momom and me made cookies to make the firemen happy when they are feeling sad and thinking about their friends. Tomorrow it is really important to do something to make people happy."

Hearing Robby explain the reason behind our cookie tradition made me proud. His words let me know that he understood that we were not just baking cookies, but that we were honoring the friends who were lost. My little guy summed it up perfectly when he insisted that it was "important to do something to make people happy."

Boston Recap

The past few days in Boston have been hectic. I was working in the Ossur booth everyday, meeting new practitioners and visiting with those whom I have met so often that they now feel like old friends. The days were long and exhausting, yet I found the work wonderfully exhilarating simply because I was out of my normal routine.

Despite having spent a total of four days in Boston, I was only outside the hotel walls on two occasions- driving from and to the airport. I wish I had more of a chance to see the city and to experience the culture. I was offered numerous invitations to dinner after the booth closed, but after spending 10 hours standing all I wanted to do was take my leg off and crawl into bed!


Although I never left the confines of the hotel and conference center, I was able to meet up with a friend. Erin has been reading my blog and we have been corresponding for years, but we have never actually met. I was thrilled when she was able to leave work and spend some time walking through the exhibit hall with me. Spending time with her was a definite highlight of my trip, and I only wish we had time to grab a cupcake before she had to leave!

After working in the booth all morning, and traveling throughout the afternoon, I finally arrived home yesterday evening. I was worn out and frazzled from traveling and dealing with painful blisters on my feet, but I had an enormous smile on my face. I missed Scooter and Robby, but I thoroughly enjoyed stretching my professional wings. It's nice to be appreciated and valued for skills other than cooking, cleaning and caring for a child!

I am glad that I went on to the Boston conference, although the timing was less than ideal. Between Scooter going back to school, Robby starting full day school, and my getting ready for a conference trip, the stress in my home was palpable last week.  I'm glad that my traveling is over for awhile so that we all have time to settle into a new routine.

Boston!

Dropping Robby off at school yesterday morning, knowing that I wouldn't be home to hear about his day, was difficult. He shed his normal tears about going to school, and my heart was breaking because I didn't want to leave. Knowing that I'll only be gone for a few days, and that the time will no doubt fly by for him, did little to ease my mommy angst.

After I dried my eyes, I wrote a series of little notes and hid them, along with small surprises, around the house. Hopefully he will have fun with his scavenger hunt and it will make my time away easier for him. Besides helping Robby, hiding the surprises made me feel better about leaving.

My travels to Boston were uneventful, which at this point equates to a good thing! I was able to breeze through security without anymore than a mild a grope, and arrived at my gate in time to get my favorite airport treat- an Auntie Anne pretzel. By the time I arrived in my hotel room, I was in full professional mode.

Last night I attended the conference opening, where I was able to get a peek at the booth which will be my home away from home for the next three days. I am hoping to be able to leave the hotel at some point to experience Boston, although if previous conferences are any indication, seeing the sites is doubtful. By the time the booth closes for the evening, I am left so exhausted that all I want to do is call for room services, take off my leg and crawl into bed!

Time alone, without anybody needing or wanting my attention, is a rare luxury. Although I miss Robby, I am taking full advantage of the quiet. Between entertaining both boys all summer, working and taking care of my Mom, I am fully basking in the solitude of my hotel room.

Boston Bound

This morning, after driving Robby to school and probably pulling his tear stained little face away from my side (again), I'll come home and pack my suitcase. I will drive to the airport and catch a flight to Boston. For the next few days I'll be working at the AOPA conference, talking with Prosthetists and exploring new technology.

I have traditionally loved working at conferences. The venue affords me the opportunity to stretch my professional wings and surround myself with adult conversation. Unfortunately, this year's conference comes during Robby's first week of school. For the first time since I started working as a model for Ossur, I really do not want to go on this trip!

Robby has had a difficult time adjusting to school. Each morning he has been sobbing, pleading for me to allow him to stay home. It has been breaking my heart pulling him away from my side and handing him off to his teacher. Knowing that I am only a phone call away, and that I will come in to volunteer at a moment's notice, has been my ace in the hole. Robby has taken solace in the fact that I remain accessible, even if I am not physically in the room. I worry about how he will deal with the transition in my absence.

I feel like I am somehow shirking my mom duties by going to Boston. I am torn because I want to stay home for him, but I also want to continue to grow professionally. I suppose that this internal struggle has been fought for as long as mom's have been in the workforce. No matter what choice is made, I will always have doubt.

I am grateful that Mr. Bill has volunteered to help with chauffeur duties for the remainder of the week. He'll be picking Robby up, and taking him to school on Friday. I'll be curious to hear if Robby cries when he is dropped off on Friday, or if Mr. Bill caves and brings him home!

Physically I will be in Boston, but my heart will remain with my little guy a he struggles to adjust to school. I will feel better Friday afternoon, when he is home and with his Daddy for the weekend. I can't wait to hear all about his adventures when I get home. In the meantime, I'm going to try to leave my mommy anxieties in Virginia and enjoy my time in Boston.

Robots

Getting ready for the first day of school was a hectic endeavor, despite my attempts at organizing and preparing. Robby didn't care what he was going to wear, but he did insist on sporting his cowboy boots. I tried to talk him into sneakers, but he insisted that he was a "boot man." I finally acquiesced and decided to let him express his own style.
  Robby happily sang as I drove him to school. I knew he was slightly nervous when we walked into his classroom because he tightly gripped my hand. After taking pictures and getting him settled, I gave him a hug and promised to pick him up when school was over.

He ran after me, threw his little arms around my waist and buried his face in my stomach. He began to sob, begging me to stay. He pleaded that he was scared, and that he didn't want to stay. I knelt down and talked with him, promising to pick him up when he was done for the day. I knew that my reasoning with him was fruitless. Finally his teacher took him by the hand and led my little red cheeked boy to the carpet for circle time.

I cried the entire way home. I drove straight to Mr. Bill's house, where he was waiting with a bag of chocolate and a hot mug of coffee. We sat on his swing and I wept for an hour. It was hard seeing him so frightened, and although I realize it was a childhood rite of passage, it broke my heart leaving him.

A few hours later I phoned the school to check on Robby. His teacher promised that he stopped crying within minutes of my leaving, and I felt an enormous sense of relief. When I arrived to pick him up at the end of the day, I saw him playing with a classmate through the window.

I was greeted with a huge hug when I arrived. Robby quickly filled me in on everything that he learned. We walked around his class and I admired his locker, desk and cubby. He was particularly excited about working with robots!

Before we left his class, Robby invited two little classmates over to meet me. "This is my Momom. You won't believe this. It's going to blow your freakin' mind. Take a look at this!"  He lifted up my skirt, exposing my leg. "See, I told you that Momom had a robot leg."

I had deliberately concealed my prosthetic because I did not want to garner unnecessary attention. Apparently Robby thought that it was worthy of showcasing, especially since his class was going to be learning about robots. Who knew that my leg would make him the classroom hero on the first day of school!