I am frequently asked about phantom pain. I am incredibly lucky because I don't suffer nearly as intensely as many of my friends, but when it occurs I am miserable. The past few days the not-so-phantom pain has made an unwelcome visit in my life. When it happens I am left with little recourse but to try to ride it out while keeping my own misery in check. It isn't always an easy task!
What does it feel like? Phantom pain is an individual experience and people feel and decipher the sensations differently. For me it feels as if somebody is pulling my toenail out with pliers while twisting counterclockwise. At the same time my ankle feels like it is being hit with a hammer while electricity is zapping the bottom of my foot. The pain intensifies at night, making sleep elusive. Of course, being sleep deprived only exacerbates the cycle.
Massage and a heating pad sometimes provides relief. I have also found that lying on my stomach with my short leg bent and tucked up against me as high as possible helps to alleviate the electric shocks. Other than those two hacks, I am forced to simply wait until the pain begins to wane.
Last night my phantom pain was miserable. I was tossing and turning much of the night, desperate to break the cycle. I keep reminding myself that I'm lucky, which is a difficult sell when you are dealing with a bout of pain. Hopefully tonight will be different, and my leg will return to normal. In the meantime, I'm hoping Timmy is happy with a lot of Polar Express on the television today because Momom is really tired.
About Me
- Peggy
- I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Reality Stinks
I'm not going to lie or sugar coat anything. Yesterday was difficult trying to get back into a school/work routine. Robby complained incessantly about being roused from bed and lamented having to go to school. In all fairness I did glean a tinge of satisfaction pulling off his covers and flipping on the lights when I remembered all of the mornings he woke me up early as a young tyke. Apparently my singing the "Good Morning" song both loudly and enthusiastically was annoying instead of motivating. Oh well, I tried.
Timmy was upset that both Scott and his brother were gone. He had no qualms about voicing his dissatisfaction with being left with only me for a companion. Unfortunately all of the toddler play areas are closed on Mondays (bad planning if you ask me) so he had no choice but to spend his time with me. I tried not to take his disappointment personally.
Between work and entertaining Timmy, I was constantly busy juggling between tasks and projects. This back to reality thing is the pits! I want to go back on Thanksgiving vacation.
Timmy was upset that both Scott and his brother were gone. He had no qualms about voicing his dissatisfaction with being left with only me for a companion. Unfortunately all of the toddler play areas are closed on Mondays (bad planning if you ask me) so he had no choice but to spend his time with me. I tried not to take his disappointment personally.
Between work and entertaining Timmy, I was constantly busy juggling between tasks and projects. This back to reality thing is the pits! I want to go back on Thanksgiving vacation.
Monday, November 27, 2017
Back to Reality
After a fantastic week of family fun and relaxation, this morning I am readying to face real life again. I was sad to leave my Mom's house on Saturday. I always have a wonderful time visiting with her, and I adore watching the special bond that she has with each of my boys. It is always hard saying goodbye and leaving, but it is also nice to be home.
We were in Pennsylvania for six days, but we managed to squeeze a lot of adventures into our time. Robby was able to spend a lot of time with his cousins, filling the house with squeals of laughter and excited chatter. Timmy tried to join the Cousin Crew whenever possible, but he was just as content playing with his trains and my Mom. Thursday we enjoyed a full house as extended family converged at my Mom's for an energetic afternoon of eating and talking. While I don't get to see my cousins often, it is always wonderful when we are reunited.
Thursday night Scott, Robby, my niece Tiffany and I braved the crowds and went shopping. Robby and Tiffany were particularly excited by the energy of the store and the overwhelming deals in every aisle. Scott assumed his traditional role as line and merchandise holder. After so many years he doesn't even ask; he simply walks to the back of the meandering check out line as soon as we arrive and holds our place. We drop off our goodies and he moves them through the line until we reached check out. This year he was standing in the line for almost 90 minutes, allowing us ample time to scour the store for everything on our list. We planned, we shopped and we conquered!
Friday afternoon Scott and Robby packed up and headed out on a father/ son adventure. Robby was thrilled to be attending his first rock concert and Scott was as proud as a peacock to be the one taking him. They had third row tickets to see Night Ranger in a town about two hours from my Mom's house. (Because we didn't want Scott driving late at night on unfamiliar roads we booked a hotel room for the pair.)
At about 10:30 on Friday night my cell phone rang. I was startled by the late night call but immediately picked up when I realized it was Scott's number. As soon as I said "hello" Robby started talking. He was obviously excited and it took me a few moments to understand what he was trying to convey. The guitar player for Night Ranger (Brad Gillis) pointed to Robby during the concert and motioned for him to approach the stage where he was given the guitar pick that was being used. My little rock and roller was absolutely over the moon with this honor.
I'm honestly not sure who was more excited about receiving the guitar pick, Scott or Robby. Scott is still beaming when he talks about the concert and becomes just as giddy when recounting the adventure. I know that the two of them shared an experience that they will both remember fondly for a lifetime, and Robby is now definitely a lifelong Night Ranger fan. Thinking about the memories that were created makes my heart happy. After the concert goers arrived at my Mom's on Saturday we packed up to head back to Virginia, stopping first to cut down a Christmas tree. I was excited to revisit the farm that I used to go to as a child and the experience was just as I remembered. We selected a beautiful tree and Robby insisted on helping to cut it down despite his broken knuckle.
Copying his big brother, Timmy dove under a tree next to him and stayed in that position until the tree was cut and his brother stood up.
I spent Saturday night putting the lights on the tree and setting up the train. Sunday was spent doing laundry, finishing some paperwork and getting caught up around the house. Timmy was low maintenance because he was enthralled and fully entertained by the train under the fully illuminated Christmas tree.
After the fun adventures of the past few days, returning to reality is a bit of a jolt.
We were in Pennsylvania for six days, but we managed to squeeze a lot of adventures into our time. Robby was able to spend a lot of time with his cousins, filling the house with squeals of laughter and excited chatter. Timmy tried to join the Cousin Crew whenever possible, but he was just as content playing with his trains and my Mom. Thursday we enjoyed a full house as extended family converged at my Mom's for an energetic afternoon of eating and talking. While I don't get to see my cousins often, it is always wonderful when we are reunited.
Thursday night Scott, Robby, my niece Tiffany and I braved the crowds and went shopping. Robby and Tiffany were particularly excited by the energy of the store and the overwhelming deals in every aisle. Scott assumed his traditional role as line and merchandise holder. After so many years he doesn't even ask; he simply walks to the back of the meandering check out line as soon as we arrive and holds our place. We drop off our goodies and he moves them through the line until we reached check out. This year he was standing in the line for almost 90 minutes, allowing us ample time to scour the store for everything on our list. We planned, we shopped and we conquered!
Friday afternoon Scott and Robby packed up and headed out on a father/ son adventure. Robby was thrilled to be attending his first rock concert and Scott was as proud as a peacock to be the one taking him. They had third row tickets to see Night Ranger in a town about two hours from my Mom's house. (Because we didn't want Scott driving late at night on unfamiliar roads we booked a hotel room for the pair.)
At about 10:30 on Friday night my cell phone rang. I was startled by the late night call but immediately picked up when I realized it was Scott's number. As soon as I said "hello" Robby started talking. He was obviously excited and it took me a few moments to understand what he was trying to convey. The guitar player for Night Ranger (Brad Gillis) pointed to Robby during the concert and motioned for him to approach the stage where he was given the guitar pick that was being used. My little rock and roller was absolutely over the moon with this honor.
I'm honestly not sure who was more excited about receiving the guitar pick, Scott or Robby. Scott is still beaming when he talks about the concert and becomes just as giddy when recounting the adventure. I know that the two of them shared an experience that they will both remember fondly for a lifetime, and Robby is now definitely a lifelong Night Ranger fan. Thinking about the memories that were created makes my heart happy. After the concert goers arrived at my Mom's on Saturday we packed up to head back to Virginia, stopping first to cut down a Christmas tree. I was excited to revisit the farm that I used to go to as a child and the experience was just as I remembered. We selected a beautiful tree and Robby insisted on helping to cut it down despite his broken knuckle.
Copying his big brother, Timmy dove under a tree next to him and stayed in that position until the tree was cut and his brother stood up.
I spent Saturday night putting the lights on the tree and setting up the train. Sunday was spent doing laundry, finishing some paperwork and getting caught up around the house. Timmy was low maintenance because he was enthralled and fully entertained by the train under the fully illuminated Christmas tree.
After the fun adventures of the past few days, returning to reality is a bit of a jolt.
Thursday, November 23, 2017
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving!
I absolutely adore Thanksgiving. Our entire family converges at my Mom's house, which has been a tradition for nearly 25 years. Helping my Mom prep and cook is another tradition, as is the last minute scurrying to stash and hide everything before the "company" arrives.
I love my cousins and although I don't get to see them often, it is always wonderful when we are together. Soon her house will be filled with both laughter of adults and adults, the air will smell like a mixture of turkey and potatoes and her floor will be strewn with ad circulars as well all work on our plan of attack for Black Friday shopping.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I absolutely adore Thanksgiving. Our entire family converges at my Mom's house, which has been a tradition for nearly 25 years. Helping my Mom prep and cook is another tradition, as is the last minute scurrying to stash and hide everything before the "company" arrives.
I love my cousins and although I don't get to see them often, it is always wonderful when we are together. Soon her house will be filled with both laughter of adults and adults, the air will smell like a mixture of turkey and potatoes and her floor will be strewn with ad circulars as well all work on our plan of attack for Black Friday shopping.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Plan B Adventure
Well, our pre-Thanksgiving adventure, which I had been meticulously planning for months, was sidelined. Yesterday morning Robby woke up complaining of a sore throat. As soon as he vomited I decided to it was time to call time of death on our hotel adventure. I am grateful that the Gaylord took mercy on me and refunded my nonrefundable deposit. Thank you Gaylord of National Harbor!
By mid morning Robby began to feel better. Although he wasn't recovered enough to resume my planned adventure, I decided to switch into plan B. I found an ice house, bought ten pounds of dry ice and let the kids freeze and smash stuff all afternoon.
From grapes and tomatoes to paper towels and eggs, the Cousin Crew froze everything and anything in sight. They were entertained with the dry ice all day and into the evening. My Mom's back porch looks like a grocery store imploded with defrosted food remnants splattered everywhere.
In the evening we decided to pack up the Cousin Crew (Timmy included) to see Santa. With the support of his big cousins, Timmy tolerated sitting close to the big guy. He refused to speak to him and buried his head into my niece's shoulder whenever Santa looked in his direction, but we managed to snap a great picture of all the cousins together.
After visiting Santa the big kids went to paint pottery (a favorite activity at the mall) while I took Timmy to Build-A-Bear. We finished the kids changed into their matching pajamas and played a rousing game of Truth or Dare for Kids. While my original adventure was put on the back burner, the kids still had a fantastic day together.
By mid morning Robby began to feel better. Although he wasn't recovered enough to resume my planned adventure, I decided to switch into plan B. I found an ice house, bought ten pounds of dry ice and let the kids freeze and smash stuff all afternoon.
From grapes and tomatoes to paper towels and eggs, the Cousin Crew froze everything and anything in sight. They were entertained with the dry ice all day and into the evening. My Mom's back porch looks like a grocery store imploded with defrosted food remnants splattered everywhere.
In the evening we decided to pack up the Cousin Crew (Timmy included) to see Santa. With the support of his big cousins, Timmy tolerated sitting close to the big guy. He refused to speak to him and buried his head into my niece's shoulder whenever Santa looked in his direction, but we managed to snap a great picture of all the cousins together.
After visiting Santa the big kids went to paint pottery (a favorite activity at the mall) while I took Timmy to Build-A-Bear. We finished the kids changed into their matching pajamas and played a rousing game of Truth or Dare for Kids. While my original adventure was put on the back burner, the kids still had a fantastic day together.
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
Adventure Time
Thanksgiving week ranks among one of my favorites. Per tradition, the kids and I arrived at my Mom's yesterday for a week of preparation and fun. The "Cousin Crew" were ecstatic to be reunited. I love watching them all play and laugh together!
Today I am taking the Cousins on a pre-holiday adventure. None of them know it, but as soon as they eat breakfast I'm piling them into the car and we are going to National Harbor. My niece has been wanting to see ICE, an interactive ice sculpture exhibit, and today seems like the perfect day to check it off her list.
There is more to the surprise, but out of fear that my little technology enabled niece and nephews read the blog this morning for clues, I'll withhold the information. Stay tuned!
Monday, November 20, 2017
The Polar Express!!
We had an amazing family weekend adventure. Both boys were well behaved, healthy and happy enjoying the time together. I made a special effort to ensure that we were participating in at least one activity tailored to each kid in the hopes of making everybody happy. I think I succeeded!
Saturday we spent the afternoon at the Baltimore Aquarium. Robby loves the aquarium and is particularly fond of Calypso, the amputee sea turtle. The only time Timmy has been to the aquarium was during infancy, so this was his first true exposure to Robby's wonderland. He was absolutely mesmerized. I suspect that we will be putting our Family Membership to heavy use throughout the coming year.
Saturday night we stayed in the city. Staying in a hotel is always a treat, especially when you are a kid. Both boys were excited about our big city sleepover and were well behaved in the hotel room. (I'm sure our neighbors appreciated their efforts.)
Sunday morning we ate breakfast and returned to the Aquarium for a few hours before heading to the Polar Express. We spent the morning visiting all of the turtles and fish in the Australia exhibit. Timmy seemed particularly intrigued by the dragon lizards flanking the aquarium tanks. I was quick to remind everybody that we were not welcoming a reptile into our family!
Soon it was time for us to head to the train station. Although we had been talking about riding the Polar Express, I don't think Timmy comprehended the activity until he saw the trains. As soon as he approached the impressive steam engines his excitement became palpable and contagious.
Timmy was engrossed throughout the Polar Express adventure. He was particularly delighted with receiving his own "golden ticket" and having it punched by the Conductor. He smiled from ear-to-ear throughout the "Hot Chocolate" dance and giggled when the Hobo ran through the train car. From his perspective, the entire train experience was simply magical.
Except for Santa. While he embraced every part of the experience, he melted down when he spotted Santa at the train station. He threw himself on the ground, turning his back to the Jolly Red Elf, and began to scream.
Unfortunately train stations are not particularly clean and his clean and specially ordered Polar Express shirt was covered with grease and dirt for the duration. Sigh. Oh well. He was clean in the morning, and that should count for something.
Despite the intrusion of Santa on our train, we had a fantastic time on the Polar Express. Robby even embraced the spirit of the story and happily played along with the fun. What a great way for us to kick off the holiday season!
Saturday we spent the afternoon at the Baltimore Aquarium. Robby loves the aquarium and is particularly fond of Calypso, the amputee sea turtle. The only time Timmy has been to the aquarium was during infancy, so this was his first true exposure to Robby's wonderland. He was absolutely mesmerized. I suspect that we will be putting our Family Membership to heavy use throughout the coming year.
Saturday night we stayed in the city. Staying in a hotel is always a treat, especially when you are a kid. Both boys were excited about our big city sleepover and were well behaved in the hotel room. (I'm sure our neighbors appreciated their efforts.)
Sunday morning we ate breakfast and returned to the Aquarium for a few hours before heading to the Polar Express. We spent the morning visiting all of the turtles and fish in the Australia exhibit. Timmy seemed particularly intrigued by the dragon lizards flanking the aquarium tanks. I was quick to remind everybody that we were not welcoming a reptile into our family!
Soon it was time for us to head to the train station. Although we had been talking about riding the Polar Express, I don't think Timmy comprehended the activity until he saw the trains. As soon as he approached the impressive steam engines his excitement became palpable and contagious.
Timmy was engrossed throughout the Polar Express adventure. He was particularly delighted with receiving his own "golden ticket" and having it punched by the Conductor. He smiled from ear-to-ear throughout the "Hot Chocolate" dance and giggled when the Hobo ran through the train car. From his perspective, the entire train experience was simply magical.
Except for Santa. While he embraced every part of the experience, he melted down when he spotted Santa at the train station. He threw himself on the ground, turning his back to the Jolly Red Elf, and began to scream.
Unfortunately train stations are not particularly clean and his clean and specially ordered Polar Express shirt was covered with grease and dirt for the duration. Sigh. Oh well. He was clean in the morning, and that should count for something.
Despite the intrusion of Santa on our train, we had a fantastic time on the Polar Express. Robby even embraced the spirit of the story and happily played along with the fun. What a great way for us to kick off the holiday season!
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