I Hate New Years

 The week between Christmas and the New Year always feels uncomfortable. I feel like the holiday decorations should be cleared because Christmas is over, but I also want to enjoy them through New Years Eve. Part of me is done celebrating and is ready to shutter in for the winter, but the social convention to be jubilant on December 31 is being pushed down my throat. I have always hated New Years!

There is so much pressure around the New Year to "better yourself." Lose weight. Drink more water. Drink less wine. Take these vitamins. Work out. Meditate. Walk. Join a gym. Get a new job. Live your best life. Change yourself. The messages are exhausting and depressing.

At this point in the pandemic, I can't handle the pressure of another major life change. Are there things I want to change? Of course. But I'm also too tired and too overwhelmed to tackle those issues. Instead of making a change my life resolution, this year I am striving to be satisfied with who I am today. In 2022, I want to be enough just the way I am.

Christmas

 We had a fantastic Christmas. My Mom came down on Christmas Eve to spend time with our little family and to exchange gifts. Per tradition she stayed overnight in Timmy's room, an event that Timmy has been looking forward to since last year. Having his Nana have a sleepover at his house was almost as exciting as Santa's visit.

He was worried but Santa did arrive and leave presents. In fact, he left a small mountain of gifts for both boys. Timmy's favorites include an electric scooter, stilts and a HotWheels car wash garage.  Robby received a new computer desk and chair and a limited edition School of Rock Les Paul Gibson guitar. The guitar is special because there are only 100 that were made and he received #1 of 100. Talk about being rare!

Although I piggybacked the announcement with Christmas, I was finally able to reveal my big surprise to both Robby and Scott. After much research, I booked a trip for the two of them to tour European WWII historical sites. They are heading to Normandy, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany and Austria this summer on a 10 day Band of Brothers tour at the end of June.  They were both gobsmacked by the news!  

My Mom, who is notoriously difficult to buy for, seemed to love her present as well. I hired a genealogist to research her family history. The researcher uncovered names, dates and wonderful stories that have been lost over time. (It turns out we have a car thief and prison escape artist in our family lineage.)

I spent yesterday puttering around the house, trying to combine boxes and pick up trash. Slowly things are getting organized. Hopefully the trash will be removed by New Year!

Merry Christmas Eve

 Merry Christmas Eve!!

I am so excited about Christmas this year. It isn't often that I feel like I nailed everybody's gift, but this year I feel like I hit a grand slam. I am chomping at the bit for everybody to unwrap their surprises. 

Today my Mom will come down to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with us. Per tradition, she will stay in Timmy's room. He loves having a special sleepover with his Nana. (Scott and I appreciate that she can keep him in his room during the Santa magic.)

We have a lot to do before Santa comes, so I am going to keep this blog short. Because we are unsure about Santa's favorite cookies, we are baking three different options for him. I know that my Mom doesn't care if my house isn't immaculate, but I want to at least tidy up a bit for her.  

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!

Achy Back

 We are in the final stretch towards Christmas. Food needs to be prepped, the house needs to be cleaned, presents need to be wrapped and cookies are waiting to be baked. This is definitely not the time to have an achy back.  Unfortunately my back did not get the memo.

Yesterday morning I felt the all too familiar twinge in my lower back, heralding an impending issue. I tried to take it easy to avoid further injury, but my efforts were useless. I have been on a steady rotation of ibuprofen, back cream and ice packs. I'm hoping that the issue resolves quickly because I don't have time to be idle. 

Getting old stinks!

Mr. Bill's Christmas

 I went to the prosthetist yesterday and, after an hour of tweaking a new test socket, I am completely comfortable. The absence of pain is completely liberating! Even though this leg is considerably heavier (because the test socket plastic is so thick), I feel like I have a new pep in my step. 

It is a good thing that I am feeling energetic this morning because I have a lot to do. I haven't wrapped any presents, and I feel like Christmas is approaching like a freight train. I know I will get it all done and I am trying to not feel overwhelmed, but it is easy to become lost in my sea of anxiety.

I really miss Mr. Bill this time of year. I always used to store my presents in his house, dropping them off by his back door whenever something new was purchased. Mr. Bill would go into elf mode, unboxing and fully assembling everything for me. 

During Christmas week I would sneak over to his house, spread my supplies across his dining room table and wrap all of the presents. He would listen to his Greek music and spin me tales from his childhood while I was tangled in tape and paper. Inevitably he would tell me that I bought too much which always parlayed into the story of his Christmas when he was five years old.

As the story goes, all he wanted for Christmas was a toy gun with a holster. He talked about that gun to everybody he met and wrote letters to Santa. He fetched the water for his Mom and helped his Dad tend to the goats everyday leading up to Christmas. On Christmas morning he couldn't wait to open his presents. He didn't receive his gun, instead he unwrapped a "stupid" bow and arrow. 

His Dad told him that a bow and arrow was more useful than a toy gun. Young Mr. Bill was upset and put the bow and arrow down, pouting for the rest of the morning. Finally, his Dad told him to get his bow and they would go shoot outside. Bill grabbed the bow, drew back and arrow and let it fly- right through the screen door of their little house. His Dad grabbed the bow and he never saw it again.

He would always finish his story with a sigh, a wink and a comment about being a troublemaker from a young age. My goodness I miss him!

Holidaze

 Our holiday weekend was relatively low key. Saturday was spent working and puttering around the house. Timmy and I baked cookies (when he wasn't playing with Friend) and Robby hung out with some friends in an online D&D game.

Yesterday we packed up the boys and headed to National Harbor to watch Holidaze by Cirque. Scott and I have wanted to see this Christmas themed show for several years and we were both excited to finally attend. Because of the threat of Covid, I purposely chose seats in the back corner of the balcony so that we would be away from the crowd. We could still see the show but we did not have to contend with theater neighbors. The plan worked perfectly!

While it wasn't the most awe-inspiring Cirque we have seen, we all enjoyed the show. Timmy seemed to be the most entranced, mesmerized by both the high wire act and the roller skating acrobat. I could see his little wheels turning as he watched the show, trying to figure out how to reenact the show. As soon as we got home he strapped on his roller skates, grabbed some fake snow balls and started practicing. My little guy is both determined and fearless. I know that those traits will take him to both great places and to the emergency room.

After tweaking my socket, I am walking with improved comfort. But until I return to the prosthetist today, I am hesitant to push my limits. Hopefully a socket reduction will fix the problem, and I'll be completely pain free and comfortable this afternoon.  I have a lot to do before Saturday!

 

From Air to Rocks

I finally have a new leg! I was elated to walk out of the prosthetist's office sporting both a new foot and socket. I literally felt like I was walking on air.

As the day wore on, the pressure inside my new socket morphed into pain. I was warned that I would feel discomfort with the new socket design, and that I may even hate the it. For some reason, I assumed that it wouldn't be as bad as I was warned. I assumed incorrectly.

By the time night fell, I was hobbling around and utterly miserable. I ended up taking off the leg and crying. For the first time in a very long time, I felt disabled. 

A good night sleep and some time out of the socket has helped. This morning my steps were tender but not painful. I'm going to use a crutch for the next few days while I adjust to the new form. Hopefully the tissue will "toughen" up quickly and that I will be walking on air again soon.