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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Mommy Shamers

As a Mom I am constantly second guessing myself. I try to appear confident in front of my kids mainly because they feed off of insecurities. If Robby senses that I am hedging on a decision, he will do his best to nudge me in the direction of his choice. If I stand firm, even if inside I am teetering, he tends to accept his fate with more grace.

I've discovered that the majority of parents suffer from the same insecurities. We worry about whether or not our decisions, actions and choices will help or hinder our kids. Since deep down we are all uncertain to some degree; there is no need to judge each other. 

Over the weekend I had a classic "mommy shaming" encounter. I posted a photo of Timmy raiding the candy bowl. I know I'm biased, but his mischievous smile was particularly adorable and I thought that my friends and family on social media would enjoy seeing him. Within minutes of posting, the mommy shamer struck opting to ignore my son in the photo and instead commenting on the baby bottle in the background.

I chose not to engage the judgemental comment because I knew that it would only lead to hurt feelings and damaged relationships. Although I didn't respond, my family quickly came to my defense by calling out the mommy shamer. The thread exploded, and I ended up deleting the photo. Quickly after deleting my photo I read a post from the shamer, publicly blasting my parenting. Her thread quickly gained momentum and I was flabbergasted as strangers jumped aboard the shaming train. I was referred to as a "lazy breeder," and a "downright incompetent parent." All of these vile accusations were thrown simply because of a bottle in the background of a photo. 

The blasting of me was hurtful, but when I read my Hamlet being ridiculed as a "grunter," I almost imploded. Judging my parenting is discouraging and disappointing; passing that judgement onto my toddler is utterly repugnant and unacceptable. 

I don't understand the mommy shamers of the world. Being a parent is hard under the best circumstances. Dealing with opinionated shamers only throws more obstacles in our path. I don't agree with all of the decisions I see my friends making for their families, but I respect their choices for their families. I would never feel obliged to interject my personal opinions into their lives, and I certainly don't judge people for how they are raising their children. I wish others would offer the same courtesy. A little more support and a lot less shame would benefit everybody.

1 comment:

  1. This seems to be something that never changes. In the 70s I was one of those wicked moms who worked away from home, thereby neglecting all my motherly and wifely duties. I think you handled it perfectly.