About Me

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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Friday, June 19, 2020

Father's Day

This weekend the country will be celebrating Father's Day. This holiday has been difficult ever since I lost my own Dad. I do my best to make the day about Scott because he deserves to be celebrated. As much as I try to stay focused on him my mind always travels to my own Dad. 

Ted passing away from pancreatic cancer has stirred up so many memories for me. As I witnessed his decline through his wife's eyes, I kept remembering my dad during all of those stages. It is a horrific disease!

Like every special event and holiday that has transpired since February, Father's Day will be a little different this year. We typically spend the day on a family adventure. A few years ago we went to DC for the weekend. This year we will probably "staycation" in our driveway. Our celebration will definitely be tamer, but am going to do my best to keep my focus on  Scott.

Thursday, June 18, 2020

Hand Cuffs

Over the past few weeks, Timmy has been enthralled by playing cowboy outlaw. He loves nothing more than running through the house with a "money bag," prompting a chase and ultimately a cowboy showdown. Since Robby's cowboy hat doesn't fit his little head, I decided to enhance his experience by ordering some props on Amazon.

I logged onto Amazon a few nights ago and quickly found a child sized cowboy hat and an outlaw bandana. I also found a bank robber money bag and an "authentic" toy six shooter to complete the ensemble. When I was getting ready to check out, a pop-up suggestion came onto the screen, prompting me to add some metal handcuffs to the order. I clicked yes, satisfied that Timmy was going to be delighted with his new costume.

Yesterday afternoon the props arrived. Timmy gleefully tore into the box, excited to start putting his costume to use. Everything was perfect, with the exception of the handcuffs. It turns out that the last minute addition was not exactly child-centric.  

Instead of cops and robbers toy handcuffs, I had purchased bondage style adult handcuffs. Yikes! Thankfully I was able to snag the package before Timmy had a chance to examine the graphics, because I think that would have scarred his perspective for life.  

After throwing away the packaging, I gave the benign looking cuffs to Timmy. Out of the package, they appeared to be regular metal handcuffs. The keys, which were shaped like a penis with large testicles, were thrown into the trash with the rest of the packaging. I really didn't think much of it because I figured that  we could just disengage the cuffs with the escape button.

Timmy donned his costume while I finished tidying up the kitchen. Thursday is trash day, so I wanted to get as much out of the house as possible. As soon as my little six shooter was ready I tied up the trash and started to play.

I managed to rob the bank and fill my money bag, but I was caught red handed by the law. It wasn't until Sheriff Timmy cuffed me when I realize that these adult sex cuffs were missing the escape button. I was trapped in bondage cuffs, being held prisoner by a toy gun and my own stupidity. 

Robby came to my rescue, rummaging through the newly filled trash bag to retrieve the penis key. I tried to explain the mix up with the order, but he protested by claiming that he didn't want to know. He finally found the key and muttered that he never wanted to discuss this again. 

I was freed from the cuffs which were promptly packed up to be returned. I ordered another set of handcuffs, this time I took the time to make sure that they were appropriate kids. Although I'm fairly certain that Robby will never be able to look at toy handcuffs the same way again.

Wednesday, June 17, 2020


When I was pregnant with Timmy our neighbors threw us a small baby shower. I remember sitting around the host's dining room table, casually chatting with our neighbors. Sue, the lady who lives next door to us, mentioned that her husband was diagnosed with ALS. Instantly the tone of the shower changed and our collective hearts broke.  

Ted must have sensed the change in our moods, because he tried to soothe the blow by mentioning that the doctors gave him five to seven more years. He planned to use those years to continue to live life to the fullest. Slowly, the joyful mood of the shower returned and the banter resumed but I never forgot his words.

Over the years we have watched Ted slowly decline. He went from riding his bicycle through the neighborhood to slowly walking. Then he was walking with a cane until, one day, he was tooling to get the mail in a new power scooter.  As the disease began to change and ravage his body, his spirit and grateful outlook remained constant.  

After Mr. Bill moved away I have become closer to Sue. I guess we were both looking for companionship and sort of found each other. I have started to drop off meals and Robby has been volunteered to help with yard work. I have gotten to know both of them as more than neighbors. They both have become friends.

In April Ted's health began to fail. He was taken to the hospital numerous times for unexplained bleeding and bloating. A few weeks ago Sue called and asked for help. She was trying to transport Ted to the hospital and he fell on top of her in the driveway. Unable to move him off of her, she needed Robby and Scott's assistance. They immediately took off across the street to help. I didn't realize that it was the last time that they would see Ted. 

I recognized the symptoms from my Dad and I wasn't shocked when the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer was revealed. Over the past few weeks Ted has been receiving hospice care. His family has surrounded him and rallied around Sue. We have tried to help and support from afar, periodically leaving food and toys for the grandkids who were visiting. 

Yesterday Sue stopped me in the street to let me know that Ted had just passed away. Immediately I felt transported back in time, revisiting the grief I felt when I lost my Dad. Pancreatic cancer is a horrific disease. He had been preparing to die from ALS but was ultimately taken by pancreatic cancer. I'm now sure which fate is worse, but I pray that he is now at peace.

Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Rough Day

All of the relaxation vibes that I had accrued over the weekend evaporated as soon as I woke up on Monday. I felt like I was running on fumes by noon, and the fact that I still had at least ten more hours to go before bedtime felt both overwhelming and depressing. It definitely wasn't my best day, but I survived so I will consider it to be a success.

Timmy, who hasn't been sleeping well, was "off" all day. He waffled between being whiny and needy to angry and destructive without warning. When I wasn't working I was spending all of my time and energy towards soothing, calming and redirecting my little guy. 

I know that he isn't feeling well and that he is doing the best that he can given his circumstances. It breaks my heart that his health is still not up to par. I'm hoping that we will be able to resume his treatments soon because I miss my happy little Hamlet.

Because I knew that the root of his issues was organic, I really tried to remain patient and loving. When he needed to cuddle I dropped everything and held him. When he was frustrated I did my best to help him work through it. I know it wasn't an easy day for him, but my goodness I felt absolutely drained by the time he went to bed.

I'm hoping for a better day for both of us.  Fingers crossed!

Monday, June 15, 2020


I wish I could write that we had an exciting weekend, but that would not be honest. My weekend wasn't bad, but it certainly was not overly exciting or entertaining. Social distancing is becoming very tiresome!

Timmy spent the majority of each afternoon in his little pool, happily splashing and playing. I sat poolside, listening to an audio book and watching him play. I enjoyed feeling the sunshine on my skin and hearing his giggles through the splashing. It didn't seem to both him that it wasn't hot and that the water was cold. He is my little water bug, happy to jump into a pool regardless of the weather.

Sitting by his little pool, I felt guilty for not working. I looked around the yard and began to make a mental list of everything that I should be doing. Instead of getting up and starting to knock through the yard work I just couldn't find the motivation. I opted to allow myself the luxury of relaxation. Sometimes, it's okay to just sit and chill, right?