Pain Free

 Yesterday was my first full day in my new liner and modified socket. Although I felt the changes through the night in the form of phantom pain, I felt no discomfort during the day. None of my steps were uncomfortable and I didn't feel compelled to remove my leg once. In spite of the phantom pain, I consider this a phenomenal success.

I experience phantom pain whenever my limb undergoes examinations or when any of my components change. I had no doubt that it was going to flare, and that it would likely be intense. I was correct on both counts, Somehow, knowing the cause definitely helped me cope in the middle of the night. I guess it is easier to accept the pain when I can rationalize the source. 

After a few days of rain, today we are supposed to have sunshine and warm temperatures. I can't wait to try out my pain-free leg outside. For the first time in what seems like forever, I feel like I'll be able to keep up with Hamlet.  

A Plan

After years of prosthetic frustrations, dealing with discomfort and making do, I finally see light at the end of my woes. My meeting with the new prosthetist was phenomenal. I have never had such a thorough appointment! We spent nearly two hours dissecting my issues, troubleshooting and triaging my issues and developing a plan. After winging it for so long, it feels liberating to have a plan again!

As I expected, my limb has taken a beating over the past few years. Squeezing into ill-fitting sockets and wearing inadequate liners have damaged the tissue on both the bottom and the top of my limb. I knew that damage was occurring, but I was naive about the severity. 

Despite the damage, we are optimistic that surgical intervention may be staved off. I was fit with a new liner and suspension system during the appointment. Combined with some meticulously placed pads in my socket, I am able to walk with comfort. We are actively resting and repositioning the tissue within my socket to allow my limb to heal without compromising my mobility. 

My limb feels different within the socket, but I am not feeling discomfort. After walking for so long with the tissue misplaced, it is going to take time to adjust to the correct balance within my socket. I'm excited to heal and to resume my life without prosthetic pain and frustrations.  

It took me a long time to break away and try a new practitioner. After my appointment yesterday, I have no doubts that it was the right decision. I only wish I had the courage to go earlier.

Big Change

Today is a big day for me. 

I have been an amputee for nearly 18 years. In that time, I have only had one prosthetist. Elliot has seen me through my initial steps, my acceptance to limb loss, my wedding and two pregnancies. I owe a lot to the care that he has provided me, and I will always be grateful for both his talents and his time.

It has taken me a long time to realize that, from a prosthetic perspective, I have become stagnant. I have been dealing with varying levels of discomfort since Timmy was born. I am tired of struggling and I'm tired of juggling to make things work. It is time for a change.

Today, for only the second time since becoming an amputee nearly two decades ago, I will be seeing a new prosthetist. I have known that this change was necessary for about two years, but I have been putting it off. I have felt attached to the individual who provided me with stellar care for all of those years, but that loyalty can no longer keep me from prosthetic comfort. 

I am fortunate to know the prosthetist who I will be seeing today. I have worked with him, on and off, for nearly a decade. I know that I am in great hands and I'm looking forward to his professional perspective on my prosthetic situation. Hopefully, fresh eyes will help me come up with a solution to my prosthetic woes.  

It has taken me a long time to come to today. I'm so excited to start anew and to return to a pain free life. Wish me luck!

Growing UP

I am absolutely loving the spring temperatures! After working through the morning and early afternoon, I managed to unplug and spend a few hours playing outside with Hamlet. After dinner Robby and I hopped onto our bikes and we went for a long bike ride through the neighborhood. It was so nice spending time with each kiddo, unplugged from technology and just enjoying the day. 

Timmy and I spend a lot of time together, but it feels like dedicated time with Robby is dwindling. I miss hanging out with my little Koopa. Yes, I know that he is a teen now and that his spending more time with his friends and by himself is normal. But in my eyes and in my heart, he will always be my sweet little boy. 

He used to spend hours with me baking in the kitchen or walking through the woods. Now he wants to be on the computer or talking with his friends. I miss him. 

Last night, riding and talking, I was so happy to just hang out with him. Hopefully I'll be able to convince him to go on more bike rides with his old Momom. 

Egg Hunt

The weather was gorgeous, allowing us to enjoy a lot of time outside. Saturday Timmy and I spent the afternoon exploring the woods and noting all of the signs of Spring. We even made bird feeders to help the birds (and squirrels) regain some strength after the long winter. 

On Sunday we all hopped into the car and headed to an Easter egg hunt. Because of the pandemic, this year's event was different. Instead of the traditional free-for-all egg stampede, families were partitioned into their own search zones. Each "egg corral" had a total of 33 eggs, containing both puzzle pieces and word scrambles. Racing other families, the puzzle needed to be assembled and all of the word scrambles needed to be decoded in order to win the prize basket.

Once we realized the competition element of the event, our family made a plan. Timmy is a great egg hunter, so he was put on the task of collection. He brought the eggs to Scott and Robby, who worked to assemble the puzzle. I helped Timmy and then worked on the word scrambles. 

Working together, we finished the entire challenge in 18 minutes. Not only did we win the top prize, but I understand we set the record for the fastest family completion. It turns out that, when a competition is involved, we work very well together.