Mother of the Year? Maybe not...

Robby was restless this afternoon. In an effort to keep him happy and to keep the house quiet so that Scott could watch the Nascar race, postponed from Sunday due to rain, I decided to go to the park. I didn't have a chance to wash my hair, so I pulled it up in a ponytail. I put on a minimally stained "play shirt" and headed out to play.

The last few times we have been to the park Robby was the only child there. I was relieved when I drove up and saw three small children riding their bikes. Robby could hardly wait to get out of his seat to go play with the "big kids."

Robby was off like a dart as soon as I unbuckled him. I dutifully followed, taking my assumed position sitting on the steps. Soon after we arrived, the children abandoned their bikes and came running to play with Robby. Their mother was following behind them, carrying a very large black bag.

The Mom took a seat next to me and immediately opened her bag. She pulled out a can of Lysol and proceeded to spray down the outdoor play equipment. I thought that was a little odd, but I tried to play it off as if it was a normal behavior.

This mother's organization instantly impressed me. She had a smaller bag for each of her children inside her duffel bag. The children's bags had an assortment of outdoor toys and their color coded BPA free water bottle. I went to the back of my car and took out the ball that Robby found at the park a few weeks ago, hoping that the ball's original owner wouldn't show up.

The kids were happily playing. An uncomfortable silence developed between this mom and me. I decided to introduce myself. She proceeded to tell me how she loves being a Mom. She approaches everyday as if it were a school day, and she is the teacher. She wants her children to learn from every experience. She believes in feeding her children only organic food. She does not allow them to eat any processed food and strictly limits their sugar and fat intake.

At this point, Robby came over and showed me an ant on his finger. She was starting to tell the kids about what foods ants eat, which must have sparked an idea for Robby. He looked at her, smiled and ate the ant. He then proceeded to say, "Yummy yummy ant."

I told Robby that he shouldn't eat ants, and I asked him if he wanted a snack. I probably should have considered that I didn't bring any snacks before I offered one to him, but that is besides the point. Robby wanted a snack, and if I didn't think of something, he was going to eat more bugs.

The mom went into her bag and pulled out individual cups of homemade, organic gummy bears. It never dawned on me that gummy bears were something that could be made! She offered Robby a bag. He looked at her and proceeded to sign "hurt" and then made a retching sound.

I probably should have explained that Tiffany, Robby's cousin, loves gummy bears and doesn't like to share. She told him that he will get hurt, choke and possibly die if he eats the candy. I decided that it was best to just ignore the incident.

As her kids were happily drinking their bottled water and eating their organic, homemade gummy bears, I set out looking for a snack for Robby. I found a sippy cup in the car, but no water. Thinking fast, I poured the rest of an old, warm Sprite into his cup. I rummaged around the back of the car. After lifting up the mats, I managed to find enough quasi-clean goldfish to fill a cup. Done. He had a snack and a drink.

After snacktime, the kids resumed playing. They quickly lost interest with playing ball. It was too hot to play tag. The older child suggested hide and seek.

Robby, recognizing the word "hide," became excited. He knew how to play this game. He started chanting the name of an old family game, passed down because of my father's Jewish heritage.

Before I knew it, all four children were chanting. The organic, organized Mom asked me what they were saying. I looked at her, smiled and said, "Hide from Nazis." I then shrugged and said that it is a family tradition.

I wasn't shocked that she suddenly remembered an appointment. Her kids wanted to continue to play the "hide from the Nazi" game, but they were shushed into the mini-van in record time. My grubby little Ant Eater was sad that everybody left. I am guessing that, after today, I should withdraw my application for "Mother of the Year" and I should start looking for a new park.