Ready, Set, Jean Shopping!

I managed to survive swimsuit season and escaped reasonably unscathed. I suppose that is because I spent most of the time playing in the water with Robby versus sunning myself pool side. Robby is very easy to impress and has no physical expectations. If only adults could be so forgiving!

Now that the weather is cooling, I realized that I needed to clean my closet. I discovered that my jeans, which I thought were in good condition from last year, are in poor shape. I am not sure how the condition of my clothes and shoes can deteriorate while in storage, but it always seems to happen.

I can put my summer sandals away thinking that they will be fine for the next year. After a few months in the abyss known as my closet, the shoes will reemerge dirty and worn. Somehow the shoes never look as bad when I am putting them away. This has been the case with my jeans.

Yes, I will need to go jean shopping. I hate jean shopping. Not as much as swim suit shopping, but it is a close second. In reality, the only article of clothing I enjoy shopping for are shirts.

Jeans are a difficult fit for me. I have "fertile" hips. (I think this is a flattering way of saying that I have wide hips.) I also have a small waist. It is nearly impossible to find a pair of jeans that fits my curves. Jeans that fit over my hips often gap at the waist. If I find pants that fit at the waist, they are often too tight and uncomfortable in the hips.

My frustrations continue as I must also consider the leg style of the jeans. I need pants with a flair. I usually opt for the "boot cut" leg because I need room to slide my leg on and off. Many leg cuts don't provide the slack needed to accommodate my prosthetic. There is nothing more impractical than having to take off my jeans in order to remove my leg!

I am annoyed by the crease that develops between the jean material and my prosthetic because the denim frequently gets pinched between my prosthetic and my knee. It is unsightly, but I also know that it is unavoidable so I try to ignore the crease when I look in the mirror.

Perhaps one of the reasons I detest jean shopping is because I am forced to constantly remove my leg. I can't simply step into the jeans. I have to sit down, pop my leg off, slide the jeans over my stump and then step into my prosthetic. Granted, it probably doesn't seem like a big issue, but it is an annoyance.

As if merely finding the perfect jeans isn't difficult enough, I am going to have to contend with Robby Rotten. He seems to only enjoy shopping in the bakery. I am still reeling from him running out of the dressing room with all of my clothes, forcing me to chase him in my bra. This was the last time I took him into a dressing room, so the prospect of exposing myself again puts me on edge.

I am trying to build up my self-esteem in preparation for the inevitable blow it will sustain this weekend in the dressing-room. It is going to be difficult, but I am determined to find the perfect pair of jeans, a pair that will cover my bum adequately and will still allow me to breathe. Wish me luck!