Ready for Walking Day

Every amputee has an anniversary date. For some, especially soldiers returning from war, the date of their accident is referred to as their "Alive Day." They use this term because they survived an event that was meant to take their life. My amputation occurred on July 3, 2003. This is a date that I can never forget, yet I choose to try to ignore.

Instead of marking the date of my amputation, I choose to honor my recovery by celebrating what I have dubbed to be "Walking Day." Walking Day marks the anniversary of the date I took my first steps, unassisted, on my prosthetic. In essence, it is the date that my recovery and, hence my life as an amputee, truly began.

My Walking Day is tomorrow. On November 11, 2003 I took my first steps. I remember the event as if it were yesterday. I was terrified while sitting in my Prosthetist's office. I didn't know what to expect. I was worried that I would fail and be confined to crutches or a wheelchair for life. I was afraid of falling. I was afraid of the pain of a prosthetic. I was scared of being an amputee.

After the leg was fitted, I remember Elliot, my prosthetist, telling me to try to take a step. I took a deep breath and took a "leap of faith." Hesitantly, I began to put one foot in front of the other. Before I knew it, and within a period of twenty minutes, I had ditched the crutches and was walking! I was slow, and I had a noticeable limb. But I was walking without crutches for the first time in over 5 years.

I find myself filled with pride on this anniversary. It allows me the opportunity to remember the recovery and to honor everything that I have endured to get to this point. At the risk of sounding cocky, I am proud of myself. I have not only survived losing my leg but also recovered, and I am now thriving.

I find myself continually challenging the limits of my prosthetic. My desire to succeed has been amplified since Robby's birth. I want to show him that his Mommy may have lost her leg, but she hasn't lost her spirit or her love of life. It is okay to fail, albeit embarrassing. It may sound cliche, but avoidance of an activity is far worse than a failure while trying. This is a lesson I want to impart on Robby.

Walking Day is a celebration in our home. The anniversary allows me the opportunity to reflect. I am not the same person who took those first tentative steps on a prosthetic leg. I am now a wife and a mother. I was scared of falling and embarrassed about my limb loss. I have learned that falling hurts- but that it is inevitable. I am no longer embarrassed. I have learned that everybody has something "wrong" with them. My "imperfection" is simply more visible.

Tomorrow Scott, Robby and I will celebrate Walking Day. We will talk about the surgery and the painful recovery, but that will not be the focus of the day. We will celebrate the anniversary in the most appropriate manner. We will watch the video of my first steps, and then our little family will go for a walk.