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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Discrimination

I was raised in a diverse family. My mother is Lutheran and my father is Jewish. My brother is adopted and is of Korean descent. I have openly gay relatives who have been involved in a stable, loving relationship since before I was born. I had a cousin who, through her struggles against cancer, lost her breasts, her hair and much of her body mass to the disease. We were taught to look for similarities instead of focusing on the differences among people.

Scott and I are striving to raise Robby with the all encompassing acceptance which was instilled within us. Robby has been interacting with amputees and individuals with other disabilities since he was born. He has been to Walter Reed several times, and I even volunteered him as a "practice baby" so that soldiers without hands could learn to change a diaper. Robby has a healthy curiosity, but he is not fearful of physical differences among people.

I firmly believe that discrimination, in any form, is a caustic force within human nature. Race, gender, disability, religion and sexual orientation are merely differences among us. I am disappointed to learn that discrimination biases are alive and active within the members of my small family.

When somebody verbalizes a dislike for a particular aspect of human nature, albeit race, disability, sexual orientation or religion, I immediately become angry. I have learned that debating an individual with these views is useless as the chance of changing such thought is improbable. I find it infuriating when religion becomes the reason behind intolerance.

I accept that everybody has the responsibility to develop his own views, and I will not attempt to influence them. I believe that everybody has the right to develop his own thoughts and to utilize his individual moral compass. Our "compass needles" may lead our hearts in different directions, but family ties will always remain.

Often times, those who discriminate have never felt the effects of such negativity personally. Perhaps if they felt the wrath of their words, a different perspective might be gained. Unfortunately, I have witnessed the pain caused by discrimination throughout my life.

My brother was not only the only Korean in our neighborhood, but also the only non-Caucasian. There was another child, a girl, in his class who was also of Asian descent. My brother was paired with her at every school assembly, square dance and recital. It was natural to pair the two "Asian" children together. The possibility of my brother dancing with a white classmate in the first grade Christmas program probably never entered the mind of the teacher. At such a young age, the difference between my brother and his classmates was being amplified.

Since the advent of my disability I have had the displeasure of experiencing discrimination on several occasions. I was strongly encouraged to wear a cosmetic cover on my prosthetic when I was working. I suppose I am stubborn because I refused. I was forced to confront this bigotry at the same time I was trying to survive a difficult pregnancy.

Scott and I laugh because we customarily cannot receive assistance in stores. We went shopping for a new stove and stood patiently for a salesperson to help. Another couple entered the store, and a salesman practically ran out of the back room and vaulted over me to help the couple. We were left standing, with no one to answer our questions or make the sale. The only difference between the couple being helped and us was my disability. It is difficult not to conclude that discrimination played a role in that situation.

When I know that somebody actively discriminates against another person, regardless of the rational, I have a difficult time. I muse that the individual's feelings towards those with a disability may also be negative. After all, how would I really know if I am held in a lesser regard merely because I am disabled?

My heart is saddened by the discrimination voiced within my family. Many relatives on my father's side survived the holocaust. Growing up, I was surrounded by stories about the atrocities committed as well as the heroic acts offered by strangers. My Grandfather believed that the events of World War 2 divided human nature into two categories: those who would offer safety within an attic, and those who would turn you in. I know into which category I fall.

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