The Amputee Vs. The Individual With an Amputation

I thoroughly enjoy meeting and talking with other amputees. There is an instant camaraderie among individuals who have experienced and are living with limb loss. It is a reality that one can truly relate to only if it has been experienced first hand.

It is difficult to explain how miserable an ill fitting socket can feel and how it can negatively impact an entire day. There is something comforting in knowing that I don't have to explain these issues to another amputee. It is something which we all understand. Phantom pains, liner woes, socket adjustments and emotions are all common topics among amputees.

Because I enjoy talking with other amputees, it is often assumed that I am actively involved in a support group or program. As I have explained in a previous blog, this is not the case. Although I enjoy relaying my experiences and helping others, my amputation does not define who I am.

I have a theory. I have concluded that there is a difference between the "amputee" and the "individual with an amputation." I often interchange these terms, but I believe that they have two separate connotations.

The "amputee" is somebody who identifies him or herself through the limb loss. The amputation or their "status" as amputee is the sole source of conversation. It has become the individual's defining feature. In a sense, the individual has been lost, or at least masked, by the loss.

I think that most individuals who have experienced limb loss go through the "amputee" phase. After all, the loss of a body part is traumatic, regardless of the circumstances. Speaking from experience, I know emotional struggles and the ensuing identity crisis make it difficult, if not impossible, to see beyond the loss.

Eventually, I evolved from being an "amputee" into the "individual with an amputation." I cannot deny that I have an amputation. It is physically obvious. The changes affected by my amputation have been global, not just physical. I am MORE than my limb loss.

I am a mommy. I am a wife. I am a friend. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am an intelligent woman with a lot of opinions (too many if you ask my husband). I am a cancer survivor. I am also living a full life after an amputation. All of these roles contribute to who I am.

Although I can only speak to the groups that I have attended, I have found the attendees to be "stuck" on their loss. Many of the individuals have been amputees for many years (over 10) and are still lamenting their loss. They have not moved into the next phase of acceptance, towards redefining themselves with a limb loss, but not solely by the amputation.

I do not mean to disparage support groups or the need for the groups. I was disappointed in the groups that I attended because there was no emphasis on moving beyond the loss. Perhaps had I sought and found an appropriate group for me, my recovery would have been easier.

Okay, I will now step off of my soap box.