Indecent Exposure

Today I packed up Robby and took him to House of Bounce. Robby loves jumping and playing on the giant inflatables, and I have found it to be a great outlet for his pent up energy and destructive tendencies. Yes, although he thought I was being a great and fun Mommy, I did have the alternative motive of trying to tucker him out. I am tired of waking up before 6:00!

I wore my new activity leg, curious about how it would respond inside the jumpers. I must say that the prosthetic exceeded all of my expectations. The spring action of the Mod III foot was amplified in the bouncers, creating an effortless jumping experience. I felt no discomfort and, for the first time ever, I was able to bounce continuously without taking a break.

The House of Bounce was packed with jumping and climbing toddlers when we arrived. As usual, all of the parents were loitering in the lounge instead of playing with their children. I don't mind that they were not jumping with their toddler, but it does bother me that, with their noses buried in outdated People magazines, they seemed oblivious to their children.

Robby and I made our regular rounds around the obstacles. We jumped in the "happy hopper," leading a bunny conga line with a line full of happy toddlers. All of the children were interested in my prosthetic, which Robby proudly explained was "Momom's brand new running leg." They were duly impressed.

After warming up in the bouncer, we made our way to Robby's (and my) favorite inflatable- the giant slide. For my little boy, nothing beats the thrill of climbing up the rope lined ladder in order to catapult down the steep yellow shoot. He is gleeful as he screams "cowabunga" on take off. I love hearing him giggle when he reaches the bottom of the slide. It warms my heart.

We saw the other children going down the slides on their stomachs, I knew that Robby was going to try. I was correct in my assumption because, at the top of the slide, he began to lie down on his belly and inch his way forward. Telling me that he was a penguin and giving me a huge smile, he gave a push with his arms and down he went, with peels of laughter trailing behind him.

Robby began to plea with me to go down the slide on my "tummy." At first I resisted, explaining that Mommies should only go down on their bums. Then I tried telling him that I was too old to go down on my tummy. At this point a little new found playmate informed me that I was "way older" than his Mommy. Yes, I felt the need to prove that I was the "fun youthful Mommy." I accepted the challenge.

I climbed up to the top of the slide, and watched Robby penguin slide down. When he reached the bottom of the shoot, he began to call out to me to follow. He reminded me to go on my tummy, reassuring me that I was "not too old" and telling me that I "will be okay."

I smiled to my little cheerleader, lay down on my stomach, and pushed off. Down I slid, and I was fast! So fast, in fact, that friction reared its ugly head and my drawstring pants came loose and were around my ankles.

Robby's laughter reached a new level when he saw that "Momom's pants came down on the slide." I tried to pull them up as quickly as I could, but it is difficult to move at the bottom of a giant inflatable slide. It is especially difficult when my pants are around my ankles and the fabric was tangled in my hook shaped prosthetic leg.

After I dressed, I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized that all of the parents were still sitting in the lounge area reading outdated People magazines. They didn't see my polka dot underpants first hand, although I did overhear a few giggling children reporting the incident to their parents. I tightened the tie on my pants and continued sliding as if nothing had happened, although I ignored Robby's request and chose to slide on my bottom.

Once again, my quest to seal my "fun Mommy" status ended in my own humiliation. I need to remember that I am not young, nor am I particular swift and graceful. I am, in fact, a middle aged one legged woman. I am also, apparently, slow to learn from my mistakes.