Back in Charge

Like all children, Robby has learned the strengths and weaknesses of each parent. He knows that Mommy expects him to surrender his beloved Binkie first thing in the morning, and I insist that he eats his meals at the table instead of in front of the television. Although he cannot yet verbalize the specifics, he knows that I am dependent upon my prosthetic and that I sometimes have "bad leg days" which impact my mobility.

His daddy, Robby has discovered, is more lax when it comes to the family rules- especially when I am away. Robby and his daddy's ideal afternoon consists of peeing off the side of the deck and then eating chips and dip in their underwear in bed while watching sports . Scott and Robby had run of the house for two days when I was in Florida, and I am still trying to undo the Daddy damage!

Every time I return from a trip, I am faced with a messy house but no dirty laundry. It occurred to me that the absence of dirty clothes is more proof that neither one of my boys gets dressed when I am away. I know that Robby did wear underwear at one point because Scott called me, in the middle of the conference, to ask me where it was kept.

Yesterday Robby was refusing to wear clothes. As soon as he was dressed, he quickly emerged from the bathroom naked. When I asked him why he took off his clothes, he in a matter-of-fact statement informed me that "his penis wanted to play with him and that his clothes got in the way." Although I can't argue with his logic, I did wrestle some clothing onto him before we left for the grocery store.

Robby loves his Binkie. I have grown to hate this unsightly oral obstruction. He is four years old and looks strange sucking on a pacifier. When Scott returned to school last month I enforced the "no Binkie out of bed" rule. After two hard fought days, I was deemed victorious until, of course, I left Robby alone with the weakest link in the Binkie Command.

Now Robby is running around the house in his Thomas the Train underwear while sucking on his Binkie. I turn my back for a moment only to find him standing on the deck, triumphantly peeing outside. I suppose I should be thankful that he isn't back to wearing diapers! This is going to be a long week as I reign in my little naked Binkie sucking terror.