Mommy On The Go

I am currently in New York City trying to gear up to meet with reporters. I was told to wear clothes indicative of "Mommy on the Go," but I was immediately confused because my "Mommy on the Go" wardrobe means that I put on sweatpants in lieu of pajama bottoms when I go to the grocery store. I knew I was going to need help.

This past weekend I called my friend Vicki who, in addition to having an impeccable sense of style, is an avid fan of the Style Network. I knew that I was in good hands with her as my stylist! Despite being confident in her abilities, it become glaringly clear that I am lacking any sense of design or style in my wardrobe.

Her criteria for a nice outfit are more discriminating. I classify any garment as being "nice" if it is cute, pink, and lacks tears and obvious stains. After being a stay-at-home Mommy for the past four years, it has become clear that I have an extremely limited selection of "nice" clothes. I now have two trendy outfits, although uncomfortable, sure to make me the envy of trendy and modern "Mommies on the go" everywhere!

Last night I arrived in New York City. Thankfully my hotel is across the street from the train station because I became disoriented by the noises and commotion almost as soon as I walked off the train.

I found my way to the hotel and checked in. Feeling brave and determined not to be a recluse and hide, (my immediate tendency) I set out to explore. Observing a Michael Jackson impersonator moonwalk down the street for seemingly no reason was certainly unexpected and caught me off guard. I wanted to take a picture but I didn't know if it would cost me or offend him, so I decided to keep walking, quietly humming "Thriller."

After 15 minutes of walking with my best cosmopolitan strut and trying to feign urban sophistication, I became pathetically lost. I spent so much mental energy trying to fit in and look natural that I ended up just following a hoard of people instead of paying attention to where I was going. Somehow I had walked through Time Square without noticing.

I hate becoming lost especially when I am alone in a large city. Unfortunately, it is a rather common occurrence for me. Despite being trained to teach blind people how to use canes and travel, I have the personal orienteering skills of a drunk hamster. The irony has not been lost on me.

I was thrilled to get back to my hotel room, shed my "Mommy on the Go" clothes and crawl into my pajamas. While I love traveling, I've come to the conclusion it just isn't as much fun when I am by myself. The honking horns from the taxi cabs below my hotel window make me miss my drafty, leaky home in Virginia!

In all honesty, I am nervous about today. I'm decked out in my new clothes preparing for this adventure. Since I'm a horrible actress, I think it is best if I'm just myself. That will have to be enough! I am just hopeful that somebody will escort me between appointments and I won't have to rely upon my pathetic sense of direction. If the latter is the case I may end up somewhere in New Jersey, but I'll look great!