Today is World Cancer Day. I had planned on writing a post on a different topic, but somehow not honoring the significance of the day for me didn't feel right. I know that this isn't necessarily "amputee related," but since I am also a cancer survivor, I feel justified.
I will never forget hearing the words, "It came back as cancer" muttered from my doctor's mouth. I remember going numb and instantly wishing that I was stuck in a bad nightmare. I vividly remember willing myself to wake up only to realize that I wasn't asleep, and that my life had become my nightmare.
I listened to the treatment options, took the brochures and dutifully scheduled my appointment with the oncology department. Sitting in my car in the parking lot of the hospital I had to do something that I was dreading. I had to call my mom to give her the news.
Thinking back, I doubt I even got the words out when I called. From the quivering in my voice, my mom knew. She immediately began to formulate a plan. That is one of the many wonderful traits possessed by my mom--she is proactive and always optimistic.
It is hard to imagine that those words were uttered to me ten years ago last week. Wow, ten years. In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago. I suppose, in a way, it was a lifetime ago. I am certainly a different person than that 26 year old young woman who felt like the world might as well collapse because I had cancer.
I was counseled that I would be infertile. When I became pregnant I was cautioned that I posed an extremely high miscarriage risk. The doctors were right. I had a miscarriage and my heart broke. Robby beat the odds and became my personal miracle.
It is impossible to describe the feeling that arises when a patient hears the words, "You have cancer." I consider being a cancer survivor to be one of my greatest accomplishments. I came through the treatments and my life has flourished.
In the ten years since I was diagnosed, I have learned a lot. I discovered how dreams become redefined after a life changing experience. I never expected to be a cancer survivor. I never imagined that I would be an amputee. I experienced how life can change in a moment, knocking you off course and leaving you with no choice but to adapt and find a new way.
I would be lying if I claimed to not be fearful of another cancer diagnosis. However, I refuse to live my life in fear, scared of what may happen in the future. I'd rather concentrate on today because, although it sounds cliche, I don't know what will happen tomorrow. And today, I think Robby and I will bake cookies and deliver them to the staff at the oncology ward. After all, they are fighting on the front lines in the war against this terrible disease.
About Me
- Peggy
- I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.
I did not know that there was a World Cancer Day. As a as a survivor of 8 years, I'm surprised I never heard of this. The cookies to the oncology ward....great idea!!
ReplyDeletethat is a great idea about the cookies!
ReplyDeleteAlso both you and your mom are both amazing strong women!
On another note, I received my new salt and pepper shakers that I bought from winning the contest--the kids think they are the coolest ever and hubby has been spilling salt everywhere while filing them and using them lol. Thank you!
It is a very strange thing to have survived Cancer. I have a very close friend whose personality changed greatly, he used to be very worried about many things, he has relaxed 10x since he survived Testicular Cancer.
ReplyDeletePeg I am sure has also changed because of her experiences, but to be honest so many bad things happened to her for a little while there that it is hard for me to know what caused what. Strangely enough the day she had her amputation her life started getting better (or the day she met Scott, one of those).
My Cancer experience was very different. I recently was telling my Step Mother that I had gone in for my periodic testing since I had Stomach Cancer a few times. She became worried, and I tried to explain to her that my fear was gone. It no longer scares me. I dont think I really realized that until that conversation.
And all this is very odd to me since many years ago I lost my best friend to Cancer and 2 years ago I lost a beautiful and wonderful woman to the same. My fear of it is gone, I dont really know when that happpened. I suspect Peg's fear of it is greatly diminished also.