Just Tired (and a little bitter)

I am tired of being tired. I feel as if I haven't had a good night sleep in months which is probably not too far off the truth. I've been trying to stop clenching my jaw at night. Apparently I merely switched habits because now I find myself squeezing my biceps when I sleep. If I don't find a better way to deal with my stress and anxiety, I am soon going to have Popeye's buff arms!

To make sleep more elusive, Robby is going through an "I don't want to sleep alone" phase. Every night for the past few weeks he's been walking into our bedroom around midnight, frightened and asking for a sleepover. Thankfully the pull-out sofa in his room is quasi-comfortable.

When I do finally fall asleep, I find that I am awoken by my stump becoming tangled in the sheets and blankets. I hate trying to stretch out my legs to discover that the blankets have wadded around my limb. I try to move only to discover that my leg is bound. Kicking to try to free myself, I am met with the the familiar shocking nerve pain that comes from pressing on the wrong section of my stump.

It is moments like these when I detest being an amputee. Scott and Robby can simply roll over, but I end up with the sheets and blankets wrapped around my stump, trapping me in place. When I do move, I am immediately reminded that I'm an amputee because of the pressure on the wrong section of my stump. I have trouble going back to sleep because I then become frustrated and angry.

I suppose I'm just a little sleep deprived right now. I know that one of these nights I will actually fall asleep and stay asleep until morning. Hopefully I'll wake up without sore arms and a stiff jaw. In the meantime, I'll pour myself another cup of coffee.