Everything has been going well for me during the past few months. Professionally and personally, I have felt as if all of my efforts have finally been reaping results. For the first time in a long time, it seemed as if I was on a clear path with all of my goals within sight. I was excited about the months ahead and busy making plans for the summer.
I should have known better than to start making plans! Yesterday I went to see my prosthetist and everything changed. I have been experiencing a lot of pain when walking. My limp has become more pronounced, and lately I have been begun avoiding activities in order to favor my sore stump. My socket felt like it wasn't fitting correctly, and I suspected that it was time for a change.
Upon examining my limb I was told that I have experienced a "complete failure" of the skin flap overlay. In essence, the skin that is supposed to be secured to the front of my limb, providing some protection and cushioning for the bottom of the tibia, has fallen. I now have a handful of loose skin dangling behind the bottom of my stump, providing no protection for the tip.
I've noticed recently that the skin has begun to fall, but for some reason I failed to make the connection between the skin flap failure and my pain. I am now waiting for a call back from my surgeon. Between the flap failure and my bone spur/ bursa, I am not going to be able to avoid surgery any longer!
The last thing I want to do is go for another surgery. More than the pain (that is fleeting), I am dreading the recovery. I won't be able to wear my leg. Without my prosthetic, I won't be able to walk through the woods, run with Robby or play in the yard. For a few weeks, I will be limited. I hate being held back by anything, especially my amputation!
This summer, instead of running through the sprinkler and fishing at the stream, I will be relying upon my knee scooter while my limb is bandaged. Getting a revision surgery is NOT my idea of a fun summer. I realize that I'll be relieved when the pain is behind me, but I don't have to be happy about it right now. Sometimes, being an amputee and having to deal with socket issues, prosthetic woes and revision surgeries stink!
Maybe I'll borrow a page from Robby's book. Do you think that screaming as loud as I can while pounding my fists into a pillow will make the looming surgery disappear? What if I threaten to run away, and then hide behind the couch? Nah, I suspect it won't make a difference. After all, it hasn't worked for Robby either!