Right now I am struggling with exhaustion, depression, guilt, and anger. None of these emotions are conducive to fostering the holiday spirit. Typically our house is bustling with activity and anticipation this time of year. We are now less than two weeks from Christmas and, to be quite honest, I really don't care anymore.
through Dengue Fever has taken highest priority. I haven't baked any
cookies, hung any decorations or wrapped a single present since we
returned from the cruise. Seeing him in this weakened state is utterly
heartbreaking. While intellectually I know that there is nothing else I
can do, my inability to "fix" this for him makes me feel like a
I continue to struggle with the pain in my
legs and my impaired mobility. Each step hurts and has become a constant
reminder of my fall and my limitations. Robby wants me to carry him but
I can't because of the pain. I find this situation infuriating!
yesterday we received a glimmer of good news. Robby's blood work came
back and revealed that of the four possible strains, Robby has the least
detrimental. Of course I would prefer he didn't have it at all, but I'm
holding onto the promise that his is the least dangerous. In a few days
the critical period will be over, and he will begin the slow recovery
I apologize for not being more optimistic and upbeat,
but right now I'm miserable. My legs hurt and my little boy is extremely
ill with a weird tropical disease. I'm worried about him, feel guilty
that he is sick, sleep deprived and frustrated that the ramifications
from a fall two weeks ago continue to haunt me. It is no fun being an
amputee mommy at the moment!