Just Listen...

In my opinion, one of the worst things that can be said to somebody who is injured or ill is "It can always be worse" or "Think of how I felt when x y or z happened to me." While I understand the compulsion to want to uplift or motivate, making those comparisons does nothing to buoy my spirits. Instead, I always leave the conversation feeling deflated and frustrated that I might have been perceived as whiny.

Compared to others, I realize that my issues may be nothing more than a hiccup. Many of my friends have been unable to wear their prosthesis or have been dealing with chronic infections for years. Despite knowing how lucky I am in comparison, it would be dishonest for me to deny my feelings and frustrations. I am allowed to feel and to express all emotions without them being trivialized!

Yes, compared to others my issues are probably mild. Using the same logic, compared to a few days ago my life is much more complicated.  I am usually an optimistic person, but right now I don't want to look on the bright side. When I hear "It could be worse" and I want to scream "It could be better too!"

I suspect it is human nature to want to relate and to cheer somebody. I have learned several things during the past few weeks but perhaps one has made the greatest impression. The next time somebody I care about is suffering, instead of offering consolation through personal comparisons, I'm just going to offer support and listen.