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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Hurt Feelings

After schlepping after Robby and his friend at Pumpkinville on Friday while wearing Timmy on my chest, I was ready to come home and go to bed. Unfortunately that wasn't in the cards because we had a lot of work to do to prepare for Robby and Timmy's Super Big Happy Halloween Trick-or-Treat party on Saturday. We had invited Robby's entire class to the party, and were looking forward to an afternoon of treats, jumping and ziplining. 

Robby woke up at 1 AM Saturday, hoping that it would soon be time for his party. While I appreciated his enthusiasm for the party, I did wish that he could have contained his excitement until morning. After I finally convinced him to go back to sleep, I was fully awake. I decided to spend the time baking another batch of cookies, figuring that you could never have too many.

Saturday morning after the moon bounce and cotton candy machine were delivered and set up, we went into an all hands on deck preparation mode. I finished off compiling and organizing the treats while Scott and Robby worked outside. Timmy decided his time would best be spent in the jumperoo, supervising all of the activity. 

In the middle of the commotion I received a text from the mother of Robby's best friend. She wrote that she was in Maryland and unsure if they would return in time for the party. I was heartsick for Robby, knowing that he would be devastated that his friend was going to miss the party. I wrote back and offered to pick up her son so that he could come to the party, but my texts were never answered.

Robby repeated asked about the status of his friend's arrival. After an afternoon of trying to buy time and constantly checking my phone for a text which never came, I finally broke down and told him that he wouldn't be coming. My little Koopa's face immediately washed with disappointment and his eyes swelled with tears. After a few minutes he managed to shrug it off and continued playing, but I knew that he was hurting and feeling rejected. In the middle of what was supposed to be a wonderfully festive event, he was distracted and upset.

I know exactly how he felt because I was experiencing similar emotions. Hindsight can be extremely frustrating. Sitting around the fire pit with friends and family, I kept remembering vague commitments and a lack of enthusiasm whenever the party invitation was referenced.  On Friday afternoon, while dropping their son at his home after our Pumpkinville adventure, I told the Dad that I was looking forward to seeing everybody at the party tomorrow. His wife immediately glanced at him and changed the topic.  Even at the time I knew something was amiss. I recognized the look that was exchanged because I've given it to Scott on more than one occasion.  It was the "go along with it and don't ask any questions. I've got it covered so don't worry" look. 

I wish I had picked up on the signs at the time because I could have prepared Robby for the absence of his friend. I don't know why they didn't come to his party and, after wracking my head for hours trying to figure it out, I can honestly say that I no longer care. My little boy's feelings were deeply hurt, and that is the only thing I care about at the moment. 

Although we had a lot of people at the party, only one of his classmates showed up. Robby was upset with what he perceives to be a giant snub, and I can't seem to find the right words to soothe his hurt feelings. Yesterday during breakfast he asked me to cancel the school Halloween party because he didn't think that his classmates deserved it. I told him that we couldn't cancel the party, but that we could pare down the activities if that would make him feel better.

To be honest, I am fine providing only cupcakes instead of the typical school party I orchestrate each year. I guess, on some level, my feelings are hurt too.

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