Today is one of mixed emotions. I am eager to return home. The thought of wrapping my arms around Robby and Scott and picking up and snuggling Timmy brings me to a near giddy state. As eager as I am to be reunited with my boys, I am fully aware that I may be seeing my Dad for the final time. It is a thought that I simply cannot fathom, but in my heart I dread that it is a reality.
I am so thankful that I was able to spend the past two weeks with him. Transitioning into a care taking role for a parent has been enlightening. During the course the day I would occasionally be struck by the gravity of our role reversal. He used to care for me when I was young; and now I am was returning the favor. I'm sure that it will take time to process all of my thoughts and emotions, but for now I'm just happy that I was able to help.
I'm going to have a difficult time kissing my Dad goodbye for perhaps the last time, but I know that it's time for me to go home. Instead of thinking about the grief, I'm looking ahead, probably because contemplating the reality is too overwhelming and would cause me to break down. So instead of crying I'm going to try to smile. After all, today I get to see my boys again.