Shocking Leg

Between the skin sore and the constantly falling cold rain, my phantom pains were through the roof last night. I am trying to remind myself that I am actually lucky because my phantom pain nights are rare. So many of my amputee friends suffer daily because of angry missing limbs. Compared to their experiences, I almost feel guilty complaining about my sporadic occurrences.  Of course, with my leg doing the jitterbug and wailing up and down due to electrical shocks all night, I struggled to remind myself about my luck.

Phantom pains are simply miserable.  My big toe (missing of course) feels like the toe nail is being twisted off in a counter clockwise direction. Although uncomfortable, I can sometimes rationalize that the toe is not really there and talk my way through the pain. But when the electrical shocks start, I have learned to accept that the only thing I can do is try to find a comfortable position and ride out the night.

Last night my leg felt like it was being zapped by an electric fence a few times a minute. Each shock results in my leg quickly and involuntarily kicking, essentially forcing me to dance while I'm trying to sleep. Around midnight I finally surrendered and went to the couch so that Scott could sleep. He was sweet and never complained, but I knew that my constant kicking was keeping him awake.

My phantom pain episodes are highly predictable in that they occur almost exclusively at night. As the sun was rising, my leg began to calm down. I am now utterly exhausted, but in no pain.

Hopefully Hamlet will cooperate and allow me to take a nap today. If not, I am going to be keeping my coffee pot busy!