Crush Anniversary

Over time, the anniversaries associated with my amputation hold less importance. I remember dreading each date the first year, awaiting an impending emotional breakdown as I released 365 days worth of pain and grief during a single moment. My breakdown epiphany never transpired, and I learned that the day was like every other one, only a little more somber.

As the years progress, I no longer dread the anniversary. Instead I accept each one as a mark of survival. I am able to gauge how far I have come instead of grieving what was lost.  After all, I live an amazing life and sans phantom pain and insurance issues, I wouldn't change it for the world.  

Yesterday while curled up watching Wally Kazaam with Timmy I realized that it was the 20th anniversary of my foot being crushed.  The revelation washed over me quickly, almost with more shock at forgetting than sadness about what was lost. After all, I don't really feel like I lost anything because I can't imagine a more wonderful life.  

It is odd to remember that 20 years ago I was walking on two biological feet, without pain and little information about the amputee community. I was so young and optimistic about the future.  Thankfully I have held onto that optimism, even if I do have a few more laugh lines and a lifetime of experiences.

Happy Crush Injury to me!