I am awake early today, not because of Timmy but due to nervous energy. This morning, after dropping the boys off at school (thankfully Robby's teacher's mother has agreed to watch Timmy for me), I'm headed to observe a potential new school for next year. I can't completely rationalize my anxiety but it feels very real.
I'll be relieved when this parent observation is complete. I have been dreading it since it was scheduled last week, but I have been nearly as bothered by the anxiety that the thought of the observation stirred up for me. I feel a lot of pressure to make a good impression for Robby.
Intellectually, I know that there is no reason for me to feel this degree of nervousness. The school should be trying to impress me, not vice versa. They are looking to increase enrollment, so I really have the upper hand in this situation. Regardless, I feel like I'm going to a job interview. I even picked my clothes out last night!
I have invested way too much mental energy preparing and prepping for an hour observing a classroom of middle schoolers. Next week Robby will spend a day in the class. I have kept my nerves private because I don't want Robby to pick up on my anxiety. He is so much like me, I'm sure he will be apprehensive. But if he knows that I'm also scared, his normal fears might become petrifying.
Wish me luck!