Demons

The roads are icy today but I am optimistic that the temperatures will warm up through the morning. I have a full calendar of chauffering in front of me. It has dawned on me that I am doing considerably more driving Robby to and fro classes, clubs, and hangouts than I did when he was in a conventional school. Every day he has something, sometimes two or three, activities scheduled. Even though I find it overwhelming at times, I know that he is happier than ever in the new setting.

Scott is off school today, an anticipated absence due to a dental appointment. I feel bad because his dental phobia is in full swing. I know that he is anxious and scared and there is nothing that I can do to help. Reminding him that he is going to be okay is perceived as dismissive, and doing any more than acknowledging his anxiety will feed into the cycle.  

Whatever I do to try to help him, it is wrong. I suppose this is how he must feel when I am in the middle of a panic attack. When I am feeling anxious and panicked, nothing he can say or do can minimize the feelings. I never before realized how helpless he must feel when I am struggling.  Unfortunately, some demons must be battled alone.