Sparkling

Between the end of the hustle and bustle from the holidays and the never ending long nights of winter, every February I become worried and quasi-obsessed about skin care and make-up. Most of the time, I am a wash and go type woman who opts for make-up only when there is an event that necessitates it. But every February, my bathroom counters become littered with tiny bottles and tubes of various lotions and face paints. 

I spend my free time, limited as it may be, painting my face and researching anti-aging potions. Each year I find a new aspect of my skin care as the recipient of my obsession, and I research remedies until I settle on the "miracle" fix. (Usually I stick with the routine through one jar, summarily quitting in a defiant act of accepting my own age.)

This year my obsession has been the (lack of) a youthful glow to my skin. After carefully researching different masks, peels, scrubs and creams, I finally settled on a highly rated skin brightener. I spent Saturday anxiously waiting for my package to arrive. I couldn't wait to see my dull and old complexion instantly brightened!

As soon as the package arrived I barricaded myself in the bathroom and got to work. I thoroughly cleaned my face, providing a clean canvas for the miracle cream. I was surprised by the iridescence of the lotion, it was so pretty! The reflection from the bottle only solidified my expectations and strengthened my resolve. I quickly applied the new lotion, avoiding looking in the mirror as I was rubbing it in. I was looking forward to my own personal reveal moment.

Oh my goodness, what a reveal I experienced. As soon as I looked in the mirror I began to laugh. It turns out that the "brightening" cream worked not through science but through technology known to strippers for decades. It was filled with tiny flecks of silver glitter. I assumed that the iridescent bits would dissolve as the lotion was applied, but I could not have been more wrong. 

Scott took one looked at my bedazzled face and asked me if that was what I expected. Robby was more blunt by telling me that I looked like I walked through a "unicorn fart." Always supportive, Timmy loved how my face was shiny like a Christmas ball.

Needless to say, the stripper lotion is being sent back to Amazon today.