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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Thursday, March 09, 2017

Permission to be Sad

Yesterday the weather was warm so Timmy and I were able to hang out outside for a little while.  We are still in hibernation mode, but it was nice to be out of the house for awhile. Although he doesn't have a lot of energy, he loved playing with his trains on the driveway and swinging with me on our double porch swing. I think the fresh air did us both good!

I can't wait until he is completely healthy again so that we can properly resume playing outside. In the meantime, I'm going to make the most of the increased cuddling and quiet time.  We go back to the doctor next Friday, and I'm hoping that we have more information about his health status. Compared to other struggles faced by families with sick children, I know that ours is mild. But sometimes it doesn't feel mild when it is your reality. I am trying to remain thankful that he is not worse and that the situation is manageable, but lately I've been feeling sad that my perfect little Hamlet isn't perfectly healthy. 

Over the past few weeks I've realized that I am an incredibly social person, which is strange because I don't necessarily enjoy talking with people. I actually think I tend towards being shy (except when I'm hiding behind a keyboard) so the fact that I miss interacting has taken me off guard. I know that this time of isolation is temporary, but it is definitely starting to take a toll on my psyche.

I really miss our adventures and play areas. I don't want my little Timmy to have an autoimmune issue. I want him to be healthy, silly and crazy active again. I don't want to fret about him not eating and being pale. I want to be frustrated that he climbs everything and explores beyond my comfort zone. I am sure that this is just a little blip in his childhood, and that soon everything will be back to normal. But today I'm tired and I'm giving myself permission to be sad

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