Livestrong... and Science

I have written in the past about my admiration for professional cyclist Lance Armstrong. Having survived cancer myself, I tend to look to fellow survivors for role models. I have a Livestrong band around my prosthetic and my yellow rubber bracelet is never off my wrist.

When people are diagnosed with cancer, they are often met with a barrage of "keep the faith" or "stay strong" or other well meaning mantras. Yes, it is important to keep a positive attitude. However, it is important to remember that a positive attitude is not the only variable when battling this horrible disease.

Surgeries, medication and other pharmaceutical interventions are usually necessary components when battling this illness. Personal fortitude and strength enable the patient to withstand the devastating treatments and certainly makes it easier for family and friends to support the individual through the disease.

When somebody says that an individual merely needs to stay strong and think positive, I shudder. Statements such as these, although well intended, unintentionally condemn those who did not survive. It is implied that the deceased were weak or somehow lacking faith. An individual with the strength of an army can still succumb to the disease.

15 years ago today, one of the strongest women I have ever known passed away from cancer. My cousin, Louise Ann, battled cancer in various forms since she was in her early 20's. According to the experts of the day, she was to die within a year. She not only survived, she continued to live a life full of love.

Louise Ann gave birth to a son (Dan), whom she adored. The bond between Dan and his Mom surpassed that of mother and child. Knowing that her time on earth to be his mother would be limited, she truly epitomized making every moment count.

As cancer continued to take parts of her body, she became more determined to fortify her son with the values, love and memories that usually evolve over decades. When Dan wanted to take karate, she took the lessons with him. She participated in all of his Boy Scout activities; they were always late to the Memorial Day picnic because he was folding the flag.

They went on vacations which, as a child, filled us with jealousy and wonder. I remember the summer they went to a Dude Ranch. We went to the Jersey Shore. Honestly, there was no comparison.

As Louise Ann's cancer progressed and moved into her bones, her physical strength began to weaken. She became emaciated and was in constant pain. She knew that her time with her beloved son was coming to an end. She was not only leaving her son but also her family and her circle of friends.

Surely she was angry. I never heard her complain. The strength and grace which she demonstrated was nothing short of epic. Her focus remained her child.

If attitude and strength were the only factors necessary for destroying cancer cells, Louise Ann would have been victorious. But she died. The will to live by itself cannot beat the disease because attitude only helps and supports the living.

I know individuals who were negative, angry and mournful during their cancer treatment and who are now survivors. I have also known friends and family members who, despite a seemingly endless reserve of strength and will power, ultimately died because of the disease. Advances in science made it possible for Louise to live twenty years past the initial prognosis; attitude and will made that extra time on earth a blessing to all who knew her.

Dan lost his Mom when he was a teenager, but he has memories to last a lifetime. He is going to be a father in April, and was over the moon when he learned that they are expecting a little girl. Louise Ann will never have the opportunity to hold her granddaughter, but I know that the child will know her love.