What I Know... Which is Nothing.

I was promised the results from my needle biopsy yesterday. I stayed home all day, jumping each time the phone rang. I should have known better than to trust a physician concerning a time line. Doctors lie.

When it became clear that I wasn't going to receive the results yesterday, I was optimistic that I would hear something today. Again, we have been held hostage by the possibility of news. With each ring of the telephone my heart jumps and my anxiety rises. I am only able to exhale when I see my Mom's number on the caller ID, calling to see if I've heard anything.

I have not heard anything conclusive. However, I have decided to look at the situation from a different perspective. Perhaps it is an attempt at self-preservation.

Doctors are quick to call when they have bad news to deliver. Good news tends to get pushed aside, as it is only a priority for the family. Good news means that the doctor does not have to provide further care. Therefore, they are not efficient delivering the news. At least, this is my newest theory.

I have decided that my biopsy is negative. I am going to try to stop worrying as much, secure with my bad news equals a quick result theory. Until I am proven otherwise, this is my current position.

The weather is beautiful. The sun is shining, and birds are beginning to sing. Robby is sitting in front of the television, watching Little Bear and playing with his trains. I am sitting in my glider, staring at the telephone. I have been hesitant to go outside and play with him because I didn't want to miss a call.

I am not going to be tethered to my home because of the possibility that I might receive a phone call. For my own sanity, I need to go about my normal day. I am going to have Robby put on his froggy boots, and we are going to go outside to play.

Whoever calls can leave a message. I will continue to keep you posted. In the meantime, we have some puddles to jump in!