Shame on Me...

I have done something that has been eating away at me for the past few days. I never envisioned that I would actually do this until I was in the situation. To be honest, I didn't feel guilty at the time. I suppose my competitive instincts were fully engaged.

This past weekend I took Robby to an Easter Egg hunt at his animal park. There were hundreds of experienced egg hunting children, wearing their running shoes and with their baskets in hand; these kids knew what they were doing. I suspect that there were some ringers in the crowd as well!

I only went to one egg hunt when I was a child. I recall hundreds of children, running down a hill towards plastic eggs. I remember seeing the back of all of these kids because I wasn't running fast enough. I found a grand total of one egg, and some greedy little girl stole that egg out of my basket. I left empty handed.

I was seeing my childhood egg-hunting trauma repeating itself with my little boy. Robby, I was certain, was going to get trounced. I was certain he wouldn't find any eggs, and he was going to be devastated.

Yes, I cheated at a child's Easter Egg hunt.

Well, perhaps cheating is a tad strong. I do admit to "manipulating" the situation. I started to limp, making sure that my "difficulties" were more pronounced around the park staff. My leg wasn't hurting; in fact, I felt good. I played up my disability in an attempt to receive an advantage for my son. (In my defense, the hunt was in a field filled with uneven turf. It was going to be a tad more difficult for me to walk around.)

It worked. The staff, who know both of us by name, took notice and allowed Robby and I to enter the search field 90 seconds ahead of the other children. I felt a little solace when I saw that we were not the only pair offered this accommodation. A little boy and his elderly grandfather, who was walking with a cane, were also permitted into the field early.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I do feel guilty using my disability to gain an advantage for Robby. My amputation was not affecting my ability to search for eggs with Robby. When I spoke with my family and friends about the Easter egg hunt, I failed to mention our advantage. I was ashamed.

I was correct in my assumption that Robby was going to be swept away in the ocean of egg-seeking children. Those kids move fast and are brutal when it comes to grabbing plastic eggs. Robby did not find any eggs after our grace period expired.


So, there it is. Yes, I used my amputation in order to gain both sympathy and, ultimately, an advantage for an egg hunt. I should not have done it, and I regret my actions. I was trying to keep Robby from being disappointed. I'm a Mommy, and I want him to be happy. Just look at that smile. He was thrilled to have a basket full of eggs!