Arachnid Invasion

Tomorrow I leave for Atlanta. I shouldn't admit it, but this trip cannot come soon enough! This business trip has become a carrot dangling in front of me, encouraging me to maintain my sanity in spite of the chaos swirling around me.

Yesterday I woke up energized and happy. The weather was beautiful, and, despite falling into bed exhausted the night before, I woke up feeling ready to tackle the world. Robby and I dressed and went outside to play.

Within ten minutes the course for my day was redirected. Robby found another black widow spider. A brief investigation brought me to the large black widow spider city that had set up residence under my porch. Hundreds of poisonous arachnids were spinning webs within inches of all of Robby's outdoor balls and toys.

After briefly panicking I went into "AmputeeMommy Exterminator" mode. The insecticide bottle instructions called for a tablespoon of poison per gallon of water. I added a cup. I wanted to make sure that the venomous intruders died a quick death. I filled my sprayer and went to work on my plan for mass murder.

All of Robby's toys needed to be treated for spiders. Apparently the little buggers like to hide under objects, making their annihilation more time consuming. I felt a moment of sheer terror when I discovered a black widow spider under the seat of Robby's little red bicycle which he had been riding the previous afternoon.

I spent over four hours clearing brush, raking leaves and spraying insecticide. Late in the afternoon I deemed the extermination over. We went inside to relax. Unfortunately, Robby Rotten decided to join me.

After weeks of pulling my graying hair out, I may have stumbled upon a discipline method that Robby thinks is both unfair and incredibly mean. In other words, it has been effective. When he misbehaves and assumes his position in the time-out corner, I use the time to fill a basket with all of the toys that he had been playing with at the time of his offense. The longer he is in time-out, the more toys I have the opportunity to grab. The confiscated items must be earned back through good behavior.

Between battling the spiders and my little boy, I'm eagerly anticipating a few long days of work. I'll be busy, but I won't have to kill poisonous creatures or confiscate toys. I won't have to fight monsters in the night nor will I have to hear wailing on the other side of a bathroom door because I locked him out. Right now, the few days working in Atlanta might as well be a luxurious vacation.