The Funny Patient

This morning I find myself in an unusual situation of spending the day at the hospital. I am used to being a patient, but this morning my role has changed. I will be in the waiting room as my Mom is having surgery. (Yes, I will have to sign off as the "responsible adult.")

Thankfully, the surgery is not life threatening and has been described as "routine." From experience I've learned that anytime a scalpel is involved, the only individual who would refer to it as routine is the surgeon! I'm apprehensive, but I'm happy to be able to support and help my mom. My mom has certainly been on the waiting end for enough of my surgeries.

The first time I took my mom for a procedure, I didn't know what to expect. I was uncomfortable with the role reversal as I had become adept at being the patient. Being the caretaker was out of my comfort zone. In some ways, it is easier to be the patient.

I never would have imagined how funny my mom becomes waking up from anesthesia. She certainly makes each procedure a comical adventure. Although I'm sad that she has to have surgery, I have to admit that I am looking forward to the emergence of "Goofy Mom."

Once she decided that she didn't like the post-operative nurse and decided to be defiant. When asked to provide her daughter's name, she decided that it was none of the nurse's concern. My Mom lied and told the nurse her daughter's name was Sue. I had to lie to the nurse about my name to be able to retrieve my mom. (My most uncooperative patient continued to make faces behind the nurses back as we left the hospital.)

After another procedure. my Mom insisted that I drive through McDonald's on the way home. She was insistent, despite warnings that the food might upset her stomach so soon after anesthesia. As I reached for the food through the window, my Mom leaned over and screamed "Thank you for the fat. Your greasy food tastes good!" She quietly munched on her hash brown patty for the rest of the drive home.

Today, I am prepared to sit and wait. Thankfully there is a "Decorate your own Doughnut" shop next to the hospital which should occupy Robby during the procedure. Between managing Robby on a sugar induced high and caring for my Mom on an anesthesia induced stupor, my afternoon should be interesting!