About Me

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I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Profile Procrastination

If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you may have noticed that I have finally updated my profile. For the past two years, my description listed my age as 36 and Robby's as 4. After much prodding and some not so subtle reminders that I am no longer 36, I broke down and updated my profile yesterday.

I am no longer listing my age. I'm 38, and to be completely honest, I am not pleased with that number. Something about being in my late 30's makes me feel old as if I'm encroaching on middle age and leaving the carefree and youthful years in my wake.

I don't dislike my age because it is close to 40. Growing up and growing old is inevitable, and I plan to do it as gracefully as possible. Rather, I am resentful because I feel like I was robbed of the carefree time in my life when I was supposed to be just young and happy!

I envisioned that I would be living a Friends lifestyle when I graduated from college. I pictured myself mulling over current events and gossip while sitting in a coffee shop surrounded by a close group of whimsical buddies. Instead, my 20's were more reminiscent of ER with my being wheeled into a seemingly never ending corridor of operating rooms.

While my friends were going to bars and concerts, I was at home either in pain and preparing for a surgery or recovering from a procedure. I never had the frivolous, fun experiences that I anticipated because a silly (albeit heavy) computer monitor fell on my foot. I feel like the experience has aged me prematurely.

Typically I don't spend a lot of time pondering the "what if" scenarios.  I don't invest a lot of time thinking about what I've lost because, despite the disability, I love my life. I am basically a happy, well-adjusted person. For some reason though, the past few days have left me feeling old and haggard.  I have finally adjusted my profile by completely eliminating both Robby's and my age. I don't like feeling this way and would like to avoid revisiting these feelings on an annual basis!  Best answer for me?  Just avoid and delete specifics.  Now I can be any age I wish! 

1 comment:

  1. Peggy, you said "I envisioned that I would be living a Friends lifestyle when I graduated from college." The thing is, that is just TV. The life you are living, the path you have taken, in all ways is so much more real. The help and support you have given others, the family you are raising, your professional career, are all the "ratings" you need. This is so very important. As for the A word (age), those are just numbers and are place marks to look back on to reference your accomplishments. Middle age, old age, very meaningless phrases. You are getting "better" every day, not "older".