If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you may
have noticed that I have finally updated my profile. For the past two
years, my description listed my age as 36 and Robby's as 4. After much
prodding and some not so subtle reminders that I am no longer 36, I
broke down and updated my profile yesterday.
I am no
longer listing my age. I'm 38, and to be completely honest, I am not
pleased with that number. Something about being in my late 30's makes me
feel old as if I'm encroaching on middle age and leaving the carefree
and youthful years in my wake.
I don't dislike my age because it is close to 40. Growing up
and growing old is inevitable, and I plan to do it as gracefully as
possible. Rather, I am resentful because I feel like I was robbed of the
carefree time in my life when I was supposed to be just young and
happy!
I envisioned that I would be living a Friends lifestyle when I
graduated from college. I pictured myself mulling over current events
and gossip while sitting in a coffee shop surrounded by a close group of
whimsical buddies. Instead, my 20's were more reminiscent of ER with my
being wheeled into a seemingly never ending corridor of operating
rooms.
While my friends were going to bars and
concerts, I was at home either in pain and preparing for a surgery or
recovering from a procedure. I never had the frivolous, fun experiences
that I anticipated because a silly (albeit heavy) computer monitor fell
on my foot. I feel like the experience has aged me prematurely.
Typically
I don't spend a lot of time pondering the "what if" scenarios. I don't
invest a lot of time thinking about what I've lost because, despite the
disability, I love my life. I am basically a happy, well-adjusted
person. For some reason though, the past few days have left me feeling
old and haggard. I have finally adjusted my profile by completely
eliminating both Robby's and my age. I don't like feeling this way and
would like to avoid revisiting these feelings on an annual basis! Best
answer for me? Just avoid and delete specifics. Now I can be any age I
wish!
About Me
- Peggy
- I am a below knee amputee. More importantly, I am also Mommy to two boys, a very active 10 year old (Robby) and an mischievous toddler (Timmy). I have learned that being a parent with a disability can create some unusual and sometimes humorous situations. This blogger is available for hire! Let's talk and learn how a blog can expand your business.
Peggy, you said "I envisioned that I would be living a Friends lifestyle when I graduated from college." The thing is, that is just TV. The life you are living, the path you have taken, in all ways is so much more real. The help and support you have given others, the family you are raising, your professional career, are all the "ratings" you need. This is so very important. As for the A word (age), those are just numbers and are place marks to look back on to reference your accomplishments. Middle age, old age, very meaningless phrases. You are getting "better" every day, not "older".
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