Emotional Blip

Yesterday, typical to my routine, I worked all morning. After wrapping up my last appointment early, I headed home for lunch. Usually I would invest the afternoon fielding phone calls, answering emails or writing reports. Instead, I opted to do something that has become a rare luxury but was well-overdue. I turned off my phone, turned on a movie and escaped for a few hours before picking Robby up from school and jumping back into my hectic reality.

I am notoriously bad at taking care of myself, often trying to juggle multiple hats and projects simultaneously. Although I've become quite adept at multitasking, every once in awhile it catches up with me. I suspect that being pregnant pushed my breaking point closer and increased its intensity and my extreme reaction. When I found myself driving down the highway with tears running down my face, I knew I needed to step back and gain perspective. My emotional blips are now not only impacting me, but are certainly not good for the baby!

I think that everybody has moments of weakness, where they want to scream, "It's not fair" to the universe while kicking and shaking their fists. If I were 35 years younger I would have been holding my breath and throwing a tantrum. Instead, I decided to handle the emotions like an adult: I ate melting ice cream with a Hershey bar spoon while hiding from the world. 

When I had my fill of ice cream I felt renewed and ready to tackle a new project, so I decided to bake some cookies and brownies. My house smelled amazing!

After my self-imposed isolation and mini pity-party, I felt wonderfully refreshed. My problems didn't change, and I have no doubt that my feelings of being overwhelmed and frustrated will resurface. (Hence the reason for the brownies and cookies.)  But I  feel like I have regained control over my own emotions. I realize that can't dictate what others will do, but I can control my own reactions. I choose to be happy--with a fully stocked cookie jar.