Santa

Sunday morning we dressed in nice (unstained) clothes and went to the much anticipated brunch with Santa. Robby was looking forward to the all-you-can eat buffet, promising that he was going to eat for hours to "get our money's worth." We were a little nervous about taking Timmy into a restaurant. The last time we took him out to eat, he shrieked in the high chair and threw food at everything in reach. I ended up getting my food to go and sitting in the car with an angry toddler while Scott and Robby wolfed down their meals. We drove home frazzled with the promise that he would not set foot in a restaurant until he was 18.

We decided to make an exception to our self-imposed exile because this event was geared for children. I was hoping that Timmy would be amused being in a dining room filled with excited children and that the setting would be more relaxed. When we walked into the waiting area and were met by a maitre d' wearing a full tuxedo, my anxiety began to rise. The ballroom was decked out with fine linens, full table settings and stemmed glass wear.  Little girls were proudly twirling in their sparkling Christmas dresses and boys were awkwardly wearing their best suits. I took one look at my ragamuffin clan and knew that we were under-dressed.

After being seated at our table, Robby asked the waiter if he could have a paper napkin because he had the sniffles and didn't want to "get boogers on the good cloth one." After being reassured that it was okay to use the cloth napkin, Robby eagerly declared that it was "time to get our money's worth and eat like a man." He took off to conquer the buffet while I fumbled to try to push everything out of Hamlet's reach on the table. 

Unfortunately, it didn't take Timmy long to figure out pulling the tablecloth expedited his efforts to grab the forbidden items. Pulling the beautifully set table settings dangerously close to smashing on the floor, we ended up moving Timmy's high chair out of reach. He was not happy being exiled and began to squawk like an angry chicken. 

Timmy was bribed into silence with a steady stream of cantaloupe. Robby accumulated a small tower of plates from his visits to the buffet and Scott seemed to relax. Everything was going well, until the jingle bells began to ring.

Santa came into the ballroom sending the children into cheers.  Well, all of the children except Timmy, who began to scream. He became so scared that he projectile vomited, thoroughly dousing the fancy table linens and the elf who happened to be standing in the path. Disgusted and probably fearful that he would be next, Santa practically threw the presents to Robby and Timmy as he hurried past our table. Timmy took the opportunity to throw his package back at Santa, hitting him squarely on his back.

Our photo opportunity with Santa didn't fare any better.  As anticipated by his previous response, Timmy melted down. It took both Scott and Robby to wrangle him to stand close enough for a picture. We are all a little worried that Timmy's demonstration  might land him on the naughty list.